New favorite phrase: "Pro-freakers."

Aw - when I found this article tackling whether school districts should ban "grinding" at dances I thought I must have stumbled onto an old, out-dated link. Assumed this issue couldn't possibly still be making the news. Apparently I assumed incorrectly.

AND judging from the percentage of people that responded to an MSNBC survey about whether or not they thought the next generation's "dirty dancing" should be banned ( nearly 60% said "Yes! High schoolers grinding can only lead to trouble.") it looks like it's still a hot-button issue.

Also on the list of "apparentlies" based on this article:

• Students at some California high schools now sign contracts before attending school dances promising not to "freak dance." Heh, heh, heh. I love the earnestness of that statement. Love seeing the word "freaking" in a news story. Gets my inner 13 year-old gigglin. I guess that means there would have to be some "freaking police" on hand at those dances, making sure Student A's hips don't get too comfortable with Student B's hips (or whatever). Wouldn't that be the greatest job. "Pardon me, back that pelvis up. Atta boy, soldier. Tuck it in." Or something.
• Other schools, like Pacific Hills School in West Hollywood  are testing more ridiculously awesome tactics "such as recent threats to turn up the lights and play Burt Bacharach if students started to grind, according to the Los Angeles Times." Uncertain whether a single incident would be cause enough to unleash, oh, Barry Manilow's "Mandy" on the entire student body, or if a larger "freaking contagion" would have to break out. Frankly, the best bet there would be to go "freaking crazy" as soon as the Burt Bacharach started playing and bust out a wicked waltz or fox trot when Lil Wayne played. Just a fun suggestion to mess with their minds a little.
• The larger MSNBC-reading contingent needs to have "grinding" defined for them - Jacqueline Stenson opted to describe it as an interaction where "partners repeatedly rub their pelvises together in a sexually suggestive manner." Meaning, I guess, that "freaking enthusiasts" could beat the Bacharach on a technicality by rubbing OTHER parts of their bodies together in a sexually suggestive way. Actually, by that definition, the "students" in that picture I posted are NOT, technically, "freak dancing." They're just spooning, standing up. To a soundtrack.
• "One school" (unnamed) was rumoured to have found condoms on the dancefloor. Whether these were used or unused is, perhaps, the more important question. Unused: you've got students making some conscientious, safe plans which may - OR MAY NOT - be inspired by their foray into pelvis-grinding. Used: you've got more "freaking problems" on your hands than some suggestive pelvis action.
• The article also created my new favorite phrase (!!!!) when it mentioned two Salina, Kan., high schools where "the pro-freakers" fought back. When the superintendent of Salina Public Schools banned overly suggestive dancing last fall, students boycotted their schools’ homecoming dances and instead organized their own, reported the TV affiliate KWCH. More than 400 kids attended the student event." That's the sort of reality I think schools will bump (& grind - !!!) up against when attempting to regulate the TYPE of dancing in which students are allowed to participate during school-sanctioned events. Turn on the lights, the kids will go "freaking underground."
• And yes, that is the sound of me totally snickering in self-satisfaction at how flippin awesome it is that I'm incorporating all of these "freaking references."

I'm not entirely certain that this "new school" form of dancing is really leading to more students having sex....afterall, young'uns have been shocking the elders with their "sinful" dance styles since, oh, dance was created. It's a rite of passage, participating in some sort of "dance" that your parents would insist is NOT, actually, dancing. It's the Johnny-Baby phenomenon.

By the way: I responded to the poll: I went with the "it depends" option. I'm sure there are all manner of behaviors that are otherwise inappropriate for a school gymnasium, no matter how dark and loud and littered with glow sticks that gym may be. If you show me stats that prove that "freaking students" are more sexually active, perform less well in school, crank out more babies or are otherwise any worse off than the fox-trotters, then I'll "freaking reconsider."