It's not just that The Onion manages to say precisely what the rest of us are actually thinking, it's that they have the money to make what the rest of us are actually thinking look really slick:
Final Season Of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever
This was perfect.
Until 6 months ago, I was one of these rare people - these "people who live among Lost fans and haven't watched the show since the third episode of Season One." Made it as far as Charlie's heroin-in-the-shoe schtick and gave up. Had to endure conversations over the cubicle walls at work that went like this:
"And then the smoke monster grabs Eco and--"
"STOP! DON'T SAY IT! I DVR'd IT AND HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET!!!!!!"
"Hey, if you can't handle the spoilers, watch the show when it airs."
"I hate commercials."
At one point, there was even the passing back and forth of a dvd copy of the Tivo'd episode when someone's cable box recorder blitzed out. You'd have thought Snookie was in the building, the amount of clamoring over who got to borrow the dvd first (while I debated whether or not to tell them that you could stream it for free online if you knew where to look).
And then the entire series came to Netflix's "watch instantly" and I joined the club. The "do we or don't we like Ben Linus" club. The "Is Richard God, or just an ageless guy in eyeliner?" club. The "Death to Claire and her stupid baby" club.
I became one of them. But Shhhhh....I haven't watched the premier yet. Tomorrow night. Lost and Pudding Wednesday.
In the meantime: Lea Thompson could do worse. I actually remember "Caroline in the City." I love the idea of Smoke Monster as suburban dad.
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