LADY OXFORDS: I don't get 'em.

As a continually recovering Clothes-a-holic, I have decent tradition of appreciating (if not necessarily jumping on board with) a solid handful of micro-trends. My personal fashion victory rests in the fact that I appreciate SUBTLY in my micro-trend adhesion. Meaning: I'll rarely strike people as trendy, but neither will I seem specifically outdated. Unless the weather is cold. In which case I lose all sense of what looks good and revert to an ugly habit of hoodies and woolly socks......but anyway - I can appreciate the unusual "ew, I don't think I like that, but give me 3 months and check back" styles that come and go with the seasons.

Meaning: I may not go straight-up cropped tee and paper bag waist pants YET, but, I can appreciate incorporating a short, boxy sweater with my jeans. It'll just have a cami under it and you won't be seeing my squishy belly. I spent last summer in rompers. I own a full-length jumpsuit -- BUT -- it's black (therefore perfectly acceptable out in public in the least Kardashian way possible).

Obviously, Sienna Miller I am not.

Speaking of she (or Taylor Swift up there, take your pick) - there's a startling trend sweeping areas south of ankle. No, not the socks with platform sandals thing....that one still has me a little vexed though not altogether opposed to trying it once it becomes a little more mainstream and a little less solidly camped in "fashion-blog" territory. What's the trend?

Lady Oxfords.

Huh?

Here, let me show you:

 

Yeah.....

Now, I can get on board with brightly colored ponchos, with mixing stripes and florals, with maxi skirts (don't like 'em since I'm short, but can recognize the bohemian stylishness of them), with novelty tights, with harem pants, with clunky heels and yellow eye shadow and ombre hair color. But wimpy little man-shoes with wimpy little laces and wimpy little "are we pointed or not?" toes and non-committal little heels? Er, not so much.

Apparently, after doing a little "street style" research I've figured out that they're meant to be worn primarily one of two ways: with skinny jeans and unstructured tops (lending a less-than-menswear look to the rest of the outfit while the feet get all man-style), or with some sort of flouncy, girly skirt. So the point is to balance out the sheer ugliness of the shoes with something dainty on the body.

How about this: skip these ridiculous-looking excuses for shoes and wear something dainty on your feet. I understand, these are the next generation, more stylish sister to the also-dull ballet-style flat. So, wear them as you would little flat, round-toed slip-on things.....

People are actually paying $415 for THESE????