The Fox lost the hotness. This is hardly breaking news.

I think the moment we all REALIZED that she was no longer even moderately relevant was when we watched the De Niro acceptance speech at the Golden Globes where he made a joke about her and we all cringed because he was so obviously....out of touch. A joke about people wanting to feel up Megan Fox? That's odd and outdated. We don't WANT to feel up Megan Fox anymore - doesn't the old guy know that?

But then I saw these pictures of her today and thought, "hmmm - so not only is she pop-culturally irrelevant, she's not lookin so hot these days, either."

Some of that MIGHT (might!) have had to do with the outfit she's wearing up there in that picture (more photos here). Usually I love these sort of thrown together, "watch me strut my funky boots," out-and-about-pumping-gas sort of looks......But seriously? Weird little sailor shorts and washed out looking grey hosiery with some weirdo clunky not-quite-ankle granny wedges? It's just...off. Check out the big-headed/large-footed perspective:

And it's not just that she's gotten so thin, I rarely accuse celebs of needing to gain weight, I figure being unnaturally skinny comes with the famous territory - BUT - she tends to look anemic these days. Wan. Washed out. In need of a good Mystic session or three.

She "tried" to pull it together for the Globes - but there was something "fresh off the surgeon's table" about her face - she looked immobile, waxy, her makeup  looked like a mask.....she looked limp and listless and pained.

 

And then there was the Jonah Hex premier last year where she looked like a fish-lipped skull with a wig in a poorly-fitting dress and some bolt-on mammaries. The hotness hit the skids. Incidentally, so too has her career.

It's all a far cry from just a few years ago when her 2008 red carpet look screamed "By the way: I'm the hottest chick on the planet. And we all know I crawled outta bed looking this way"

So what'd she do with the hot?????? She got married, for one, but that's no definitive kiss of death. She lost her part in the Transformers franchise to a Victoria's Secret model, but that franchise was pretty well dead the second the Bumblebee Camaro sprayed car-jizz on Isabel Lucas. And I think most of us would have preferred to see Megan come back and dead-eye her way through another blue-screened cheese-fest rather than have to deal with the "story line" surrounding her new, blonder replacement.

Anyway - we know she's ridiculously self-impressed in interviews, we know she runs her mouth off and gets herself in trouble with directors, but what we don't know is: can she get the hot back?

Methinks no.

She's dabbled with cosmetic surgery, so her 2008 face can never come back. So the face itself is wasted. She can add five pounds to her frame and spend a few weekends on a beach towel to get the voluptuous back. Seriously: check out this before and after (the before was from back in 2004). Let's keep in mind: this chick is BARELY into her twenties. A 23 year-old should NOT look like this after just a few short years of "fame."

Brings up another point that's really resonated with me recently: with the exception of Demi Moore (who denies really having anything but a little lipo done), I've NEVER seen a woman look better AFTER elective cosmetic surgery. Lips injected with filler NEVER look like normal lips. Cheeks implanted with Lord knows what NEVER look like normal cheeks. Foreheads stretched and pulled and brows jammed with Botox NEVER look like normal foreheads and eyebrows. Nose jobs never go unnoticed. Reshaping your chin always leaves you looking like you went under the knife. A messed up face ALWAYS looks like a messed up face.

Trouble is, this girl had all the right equipment to BEGIN with. She was absolutely, completely, UNFAIRLY gorgeous.

And now she's a washed up starlet with a jacked face and knobby knees who turns into the butt of bad Robert De Niro jokes.....

Anyway - first step toward getting the hot back: ditch that horrible sock-boot combo. Your hair looks too good to be seen in public with those legs dressed the way they are.