So, it was a little spooky. Yep, it caught me off guard a little.
NO, it wasn't as nauseatingly shocking as gossip bloggerville makes it out to be.
Huh? OH, what am I talking about?
True Blood, season 3, episode 3.
I've tried like heck to track down the clip online, but the good little protected-content-infringement-Police have managed to smack down every single clip. Bummer, actually, although it was pretty much in the NSFW vein (ha! punny....vein....while talking about vampires.....get it? bwuahahahaha) and I try to stick to strictly SFW-ish subject matter, celebrity backsides and John Mayer aside.
Er - back to the vampire sex: am I so callous that this really didn't affect me? Because it made me giggle, that was about it.
People in the blogs are talking about being nearly sick after watching the scene, not knowing whether to turn it off or cry, talking about it being the most shocking think they've ever seen on television, blah blah blah.
Really? Because some cool CGI effects spun a head around while she was getting taken to town by a bedfellow who was (begrudgingly. um, angrily.) following his good little vampire orders.
Also: I totally don't mean for this to sound like a strange Freudian change of subject, but I am SO in the mood for a Costco hotdog right now. I've had one on my mind for a few days now, probably since the point at which I realized I actually haven't eaten one since, oh, middle school, and suddenly (much like the KFC Chickenwich Obsession) I sort of can't get it off my mind.
But that's neither here nor there, since I am well and truly chained to the cubicle for another few hours.
Another few hours during which my life continues to be UN-ruined by the fact that good old Vampire Bill Compton gave his "Maker" Lorena a little bit of his, um, magic stick while managing to simultaneously twist her head around in a very "Death Becomes Her" sort of style.
The scene was quick.
After an episode of flashback sequences involving children killed by the "The Pox" and more taunting by Maker Lorena she gives Vampire Bill some sort of "make love to me" order (gasp! shock! noooooo!), which he, technically, obliges IF we take all of the "love" out of the act and stage it in more of an "extreme cage fighting" mood and, and Bill's apparently so repulsed by the sight of her un-dead face (and let's be honest, she's a squinty little thing with bad eye makeup and a permanent smirk, I was pretty tired of looking at her by this point in the episode, too) that, while taking care of "the deed" he grabs her head and twists it around completely backward, Saltwater Taffy style.
Very cool CGI stuff, really.
And -- to me -- a bizarrely laughable reminder that both parties are, in fact, already quite dead, so what's a little maiming to work out your anger.
I dunno - for a show that's always been pretty salacious and continually sets out to shock us (they've tackled a lipstick lesbian moment and a hot guy-on-guy fantasy sequence so far this season alone), this just seemed like one more way to up the ante and keep us watching.
Because if Twilight taught us anything: we apparently like to fantasize about dead people.
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