I can't decide....am I jealous, or just sort of ooked out?

Hmmmm.

Megan Fox bikini pics.

And I actually had to hesitate for a moment when I looked at them to determine whether or not the odd, "don't wanna look, can't look away" reaction I had to these photos was standard "wow, she's skinny" jealousy, or, um - mild "wow she's skinny" revulsion?

 Because there's something about the washboard-ee torso (abs AND chest, let's be clear) that's just...spooky.

Actually, I'm usually not one to judge on the "too skinny" front, because, hey, I think I actually ascribe to the "you can never be too rich, too skinny, or own too many shoes" mantra. Or jeans. I don't think it's possible to own too many pairs of jeans. I've lost count of how many pairs I've got to my name and that certainly doesn't stop me from the Pursuit of the Unicorn Denim. The perfect pair. They're out there.

Anyway - typically when I see pictures of Megan, no matter how done up, dressed down, or photoshopped she looks, I'm always sort of awestruck by how perfectly she's put together. In this case, however, I was more awestruck by the droopiness of those bags hanging off of her boney chest, and how angular and, uh..."slicey" (AND Nicole Richie circa 2006-esque) her hip bones looked as they did their valiant best to hold up her bikini bottom. We remember this, right:

I mean, I always have hip/thigh envy - meaning, I envy those girls with narrow hips and skinny little thighs, but in this case, she actually manages to look like a 13 year-old boy. With droopy bags on her front side. Bags that looks like they're trying to make a break for it and take up residence on the body of a girl who prefers, um....eating. Which is odd, because Megan is one girl that almost always looks healthy, athletic, curvy - just right.

And usually, it's impossible to have abs that are TOO toned, too nice and flat, too trim. But in this case, Megan's less hot chick, more, oh, Kelly Ripa. Sorry Kelly, you just look like you eat Pilates instructors for breakfast. Your tiny little self could probably bench a Honda Insight. Just saying.

And I don't mean for this to sound like I'm just ripping on fit, skinny, famous girls - because it goes without saying that I'd love to have the problem where people look at photos of me and think, "pretty girl, but her abs are just too tight." BUT, since that's not me, and since I'm merrily PMS-ee and am having flashes of feeling like I'm channeling my inner Jennifer Coolidge this week, I'm gonna have at it. Call her out for looking freaky.  And a little like a drowned, shaved rat.

See more pictures HERE (if you dare).

And then someone buy Megan a Double Down.

Mmmmmm. That sounds like just what my hormone riddled self would kill for right now, and then loathe in the morning. It would be like a fast food one night stand. Bad idea. Bad idea.