Speaking of delightful: sitting here at my desk with my coffee and my chocolate donut cruising through photo galleries of celebrities working out. Next up: galleries of celebrities eating. Balance my guilt. At least the guilt over the sedentary, donut-eating lifestyle. Not sure how to balance my guilt over the fact that I woke up from the unmoving night's sleep and decided to put on flowered stretch pants. It seemed like a "good" idea at the time. Sort of like the seriously ratty ponytail and old school sorority sweatshirt seemed like a good idea. And the giant baseball ringer tee (which, as I look at it now, has a sort of dingy hem that's making me feel all sorts of redneck). And the naked, unpainted toenails. And the "I think I'm allergic to my concealer, therefore I won't cover up those freaky-lookin zits on my chin" complexion. Bottom line: having a seriously hot day (which is not helped by looking at pictures of fit celebrities in their cool Under Armour gear and Gucci athletic shoes...).
You know who doesn't have the luxury of sleeping, waking up to an alarm clock, eating donuts, working out, or looking at pictures of people working out (unless they're terrorist people)?
Jack Bauer.
HOWEVER - that's about to change.
Rumor has it the eighth season of "24" will be its last.
Apparently it's getting too expensive and ratings are dropping. Was bound to happen. They'd never really top the whole "breaking into the White House via underground tunnel" lunacy anyway on the "what were the writers thinking?!?!?!?" scale.
So that means Jack Bauer will finally have all sorts of time to do everything from take a bubble bath to become a master of that Wii Sports Resort fencing game to whipping up some tasty Semi-Homemade treats he snagged off of Sandra Lee's website (which he can snack on while sitting in front of a beautiful "tablescape" he tossed together by cutting pretty shapes out of construction paper).
Neato.
He can treat himself to a nice bottle of Malbec.
He can hike around Yellowstone, maybe book a cruise around some Greek Islands.
Take in a Garth show in Vegas, babysit the little ankle-biters Chloe and Kim knocked out over the course of the last few seasons.
Spend a Sunday on the couch in his underwear watching NASCAR (er, is that just me that loves those Sundays?)
OR, he can appear in a feature film.
Yep. "24" producers are tossing around the idea of a film to keep them rollin in the "WHERE! IS! THE! NUCLEAR! WARHEAD!" dough.
I think it's a lame idea.
Sort of like X-Files movies were a lame idea. And the Sex & The City movies were a lame idea. And the Simpsons movie. And the And the Full House movie. Wait...there wasn't a Full House movie? There totally should have been. It could have been the DJ Tanner wedding episode, but drawn out with lots of funny, hapless "Uncle Joey and Jesse help DJ shop for wedding dress" scenes and a great Bob Saget toast at the reception. And Kimmy. They could have brought back DJ's obnoxious friend Kimmy. We could have had great flashback sequences and a catchy credits song written by, uh, Katy Perry. Man...I miss "Wake Up San Francisco."
And I completely can't stop shoving these neat M&M "Speck-Tacular" giant chocolate eggs in my mouth. Wow. They're huge. And so tasty. And speckled. Brightly colored and speckled. I'm totally stuffed but it's absolutely not keeping me from diving into the desk drawer for another handful. Mmm. So much for steering clear of sugar today. Donut. M&M's. Sheesh.
Anyway, the 24 movie wouldn't work. Unless it was 24 hours long (which actually might be a cool entertainment concept....) they'd end up ruining the entire franchise because "24: The Movie" when not in real-time, would just be another terrorist-ee action flick with sort of trite, recycled villains and a revolving Oval Office door that spits out various suits with entitlement complexes.
Therefore, to prevent this sort of unnecessary, shark-jumping, money-grubbing, rehashing of well-traveled material, the conclusion of this season must -- clearly -- end with the Death of Jack Bauer. I know, 24 consiracy theorists would never lay that one to rest, and sure, die-hard loyalists would probably never enjoy an uninterrupted night of sleep again, but at least it would guarantee we wouldn't be subjected to "24: The Next 24 Hours" or "24: Return to CTU" or "24: In the Eye of the Hurricane" or "24: Disarmed" every two or three years.
Okay, I have to take issue. The first X-Files movie was not a mistake. All those other movies you named, you're right about.
ReplyDeleteAs for 24, I am a deserter this year. It just got to be too much more of the same. And I don't want Jack to die. I want him to get a much needed vacation with Kim and his overly-sweet granddaughter and cute son-in-law and never have another bad day. BUT...
I want to find out that president David Palmer did not actually die, and I want him and Jack together again, to solve a new and (finally) interesting threat that would be worth watching it for. I haven't figured out what that threat should be, but when I do, I'll publish it on someone's blog.