Power Point can wait; pictures of hot chicks apparently can't.

Yeah, so it's down to crunch time over in "real life" where I'm supposed to be getting ready to present a class at our annual conference (this is actually a huge milestone in my "phone support" universe, because us "phone support" monkeys don't usually get let out of our cages, let alone allowed to hop up on a stage in front of our clients and yap at them for an hour or so about the things they didn't realize their software could do for them). I have hours and hours of hideously tedious Power Pointing that I should be working on.

And then I find a photo gallery of Mila Kunis pictures (related to a really lame "interview" she did for GQ) and all of a sudden capturing those screen shots of our "Unlimited Fiscal Calendar Maintenance" and pasting them into our nice little logo slide templates ceases to seem like a great way to spend my afternoon. Go figure.

See, I love Mila Kunis. In FACT, I'd step out on a limb and say that right now, I love her more than I love Megan Fox. Yes, I use that word "love" to mean "resent that I wasn't born looking just like" more than anything..... anyway, as of today Megan and her great eyebrows were very possibly unseated by Mila and her amazing eye makeup. Uh, yeah - there's probably the main difference between a dude checking out a photo gallery of a a hot chick and Heather oogling the same photo gallery: I can look at her and think, "sweet - her itty bitty shorts are see through...that's hot" with the best of them, but my REAL motivation is scoping the pictures for beauty tips - like, "hmmm - she manages the really heavy black smokey liner without looking like a crack fiend - neat." and "groovy copper highlights....maybe I should try something like that." and "awesome boots. where can I get a pair of cheaper knockoffs?"

And like another favorite of mine, Rachel Bilson, she seems like this dainty little pocket-sized person - like, we could probably share jeans if we were roommates. Right. Yeah........that's the sort of crap I think about while I'm checking out photo galleries of famous good-looking women. Whatever.

Here's the entirety of Dan Fierman's conversation with her, courtesy of GQ (the pictures are here too!):

There are things in this existence that are fair, and there are things that are not. The rules of backgammon are undeniably fair. That Macaulay Culkin gets Mila Kunis is not. It's not just that she looks like an anime cartoon. Or that she's the ultimate guys'-girl, having starred in everything from The Book of Eli to Family Guy. Or that she is the type of comedian that steals every scene she's in, most recently (and perhaps most impressively) as a foulmouthed stripper turned blackmailer who helps ruin Tina Fey and Steve Carell's nice, suburban lives in this month's Date Night. She is all those things, of course. But Mila Kunis also happens to be one of the funniest women we've ever had the good fortune to speak with.

"I love a good dick joke," she says, in a tone usually reserved for topics like Iranian nuclear enrichment or troop levels in Waziristan. "Fart jokes. Poop jokes. They're hilarious. They never get old. But especially not a dick joke." Given that kind of setup, it's impossible not to bring up 2008's Forgetting Sarah Marshall, in which Ms. Kunis acted opposite a stark-naked Jason Segel. "Look, I want it on the record, okay?" she says. "It's a nice dick. Well proportioned. Handsome. I have nothing but good things to say about Jason Segel's penis."

Funny? Smart? Generous, too? Jason Segel is welcome to join us in sticking pins in our old Home Alone dolls anytime.

Actually, I think now I have to go find out if she really, truly is still tagging along with Macaulay Culkin. And then I have to find out how unattached Sam Worthington is and convince them they should probably meet, fall in love and make stupidly hot kids together. And then we can put me in "celebrity matchmaking therapy" for actually pondering things like this in my "definitely not free-" time.

For now - back to coming up with a way to visually represent the fact that thanks to new effective date fields our software now allows prior period corrections for projected cost entries. And stuff like that. Spend my evenings thinking about exciting ways to demonstrate the new option to suppress employees' social security numbers when running certified payroll reports.

And ponder even more important things like whether or not to wear the ridiculous Victoria's Secret "Miraculous" bra on presentation day as a nod to the fact that I might be a decently engaging public speaker, but I'll be catapulted into the realm of "unforgettable" if I've got just a hint of some perplexingly excellent cleavage. Hey, our software caters to the construction industry. It's not completely unreasonable to assume the construction projects managers and accountants the country over would appreciate a little something to jazz up the conference classes.

Focus, Heather. Power Point. Job Billing Analysis Report. Worry about your legs in the pencil skirt next month.