{Updated + Pictures} Mall Girl and Mountain Boy tackle Mt Pilchuck. Mall Girl learns things.

{that's me! in the snow! almost to the top! Tip: click the pics to zoom!}

I climbed a mountain this weekend. It was covered in snow. I have photo evidence. Me. On a mountain. In the snow. That mountain up there, actually.

Rather than a play-by-play with lots of paragraphs, let's do a Top 10 List to document my foray into Things A 10 Year-Old Can Do With Ease But With Which I Struggle Mightily. No shame there. I'm an indoor girl, for the most part. Reading, writing, lip syncing to pop music, that sort of stuff. Not afraid to try new things as long as those things come with an easy button and a safe word. This mountain: no easy button. No magic carpet back down the hill. Magic carpet woulda been righteous, actually.

Here we go:

Top 10 Things Mall Girl Learned While Chasing Her Mountain Boy Up A Really Steep, Snowy Hill

{clawing my way to the top. more often than not: sliding right back down}

10 - Just because every seventy year-old woman and eight year-old girl on the trail pass you like you're standing still doesn't mean you're out of shape. It means you're VERY OUT OF SHAPE. Own it. Acknowledge that you're the hiking equivalent of the lady doing 47 on the freeway, then get over it.

{this is my "I'm not so sure about this mountain-climbing gig" face. it quickly becomes my "why did you talk me into this?!" fit of rage.}

9 - When you throw your hormonal Mall Girl hissy fit about halfway up the mountain, make sure there's no one around to see. It's OK to beg and plead with Mountain Boy to accompany you  back down to the comfort of the parking lot -- but when those elementary school kids and grandmothers pass you, keep yer flippin mouth shut.

{blue skies, sunshine, Puget Sound in the distance, forcing a smile for the camera, AGONY - !}

8 - It's difficult to call it hiking, really, when you're sliding backward down the "trail" you're trying to climb UP. That whole two-steps forward, one step back idiom is true. Except it's more like a half-step forward, six feet backward. Rinse, repeat. The trick, however, is to find the nice packed-out spots dug in for you by the seven-foot tall GIANTS that blazed the hill before you. Following in the post holes of giants makes for a really easy, natural, graceful, glamorous-looking trek. 

{shockingly, I do not look miserable here. give the kid an Oscar.}

7 - The phrase "I don't have it in me to follow your pride up this mountain!" was actually quite poetic. Too bad you were wrong, and he was right, and the fact that every inch of your body hurt and your head felt like it was going to explode did not, in fact, keep you from hauling your jiggly buns up that icy hill. And while it pains you to admit he was right and you DID enjoy yourself, you also think your definition of "enjoy" needs some rethinking if bug bites and frozen fingers and bum knees are in ANY way included therein.

{awwww. mountain smiles.}

6 - There's always going to be that know-it-all at the top of the mountain with more gear than they need, eager to show off how much they know about everything. There's also always going to be that cute girl in aviators with great legs and a fantastic tan who shows up at the top in neon-orange daisy dukes, not a bead of sweat in sight, looking like she just wandered in from the beach. So, you can count on death, taxes, know-it-alls and girls who make you jealous. Inalienable truths.

{Trail: often quite narrow}

5 - These boots are amazing. They were comfortable from the moment I put them on, had incredible traction, and went 6 hours in the snow without letting ANY wiggle its way inside the boot. Feet stayed warm, dry, comfy, supported, and I'd recommend them to any and everyone. No rubbing, no blisters, no sore spots. Great ankle support, great breathability, great water resistance. AND they look quite nice. Ultimate footwear win. See, Mall Girl can be counted on to find GREAT shoes no matter the occasion.

{Pausing to appreciate that we're Up Very High.}

4 - The mountain has ears. When you wonder aloud "what the trail must look like underneath all of that snow," don't be alarmed when a random dude pops out of nowhere to enthusiastically inform you that it looks "A lot like that rock part you just passed! Lots of boulders!" Thanks, dude. Spooky, but thanks.

{I like to imagine this is what I'd look like at the top of a run if I ever learned to snowboard. In this case: preparing to skid my way down the hill.}

3 - It's possible to completely re-evaluate your entire philosophy on life and your present success (or patent lack of) while sliding your way "up" the mountain. Like, is the fact that you're an inherent quitter the driving force behind your stalled-out career? Is the fact that you constantly doubt yourself and your capabilities the reason you're unwilling to take many chances? Are you constantly playing it safe? Do you love limits and saying "I can't" and are you EVER outside of your comfort zone? Is the fact that Mountain Boy is successful and well-respected and driven and determined the reason he can make it up the mountain AND own several homes and you're here whining and crying in the snow with a few hundred dollars in the bank? Maybe. But your feet are warm and dry and he's wringing out his socks, so there's that. Minor Mall Girl Win.

{Boulder-scramblin. As "random hiker guy" said - "it's not bad. If you're hanging by your fingertips and it gets 'really rock climb-ee,' you've gone the wrong way."}

2 - You never knew you liked granola bars until that first bite at the summit. After you conquered. And made it to the top without so much as a skinned knee. That was the tastiest granola bar you've ever eaten. And those were the most amazing views you've ever seen.

{big, huge, gorgeous views went on for ever and ever and ever}

1. One word. GLISSADE!!!!!! Two more words: TREE WELL!!!!!! A few more words: LEARN HOW TO STEER!!!!!!

Yep. The trip back down was a wild ride, complete with some good old-fashioned Butt Sledding. Learned the hard way that picking up too much speed and being unable to steer is as dangerous as driving a car with no breaks. And skidding off of the trail and into a tree well could have been MUCH, MUCH, MUCH worse. But try not to think about that. Instead, think about the accidental 360 spin you did on your way down the next path. Style points. Sure, your arms and legs were flailing in all directions, Ninja-turtle style, and yeah, you need to work on that whole "stopping" part, but that 360 had to have looked pretty cool.

{At the top! Stopping off to enjoy the views in the lookout tower.}

So that's that. I climbed a snowy mountain. And yeah, so did your mom, and grandma, and preschool-aged nephew. But I'm new to this. Gimme some time and I'll be that know-it all at the top with lots of gear, looking badass in her neon orange daisy dukes. Just wait.

As of this morning, I've also learned that sore muscles and bug bites are both more sore and more itchy 36 hours after the fact. I can't remember ever being so stiff or so scratchy - ever. And not just mosquitoes. Weird biting flies. I have bug bites ON THE PALMS OF MY HANDS. They were vicious, blood-sucking mountain monsters from which there was NO ESCAPE. And I don't like to share my victory with them.

So, *scratch, scratch, scratch* more lessons learned. Next time: bring bug spray.Here, have some more pictures: