Misplaced expectations: young celebrity behavior and the "grown-up backlash."

Ages ago I came up with an entire theory on the socialization of young starlets and the reason they go off the deep-end. Check out my ideas in some older posts here and here. Nutshell: the fact that young celebrities are never surrounded by normal "peers" means they're afforded no opportunity to live through the trial-by-fire process of high school that "normal" kids their age live through - trials that help to develop proper social responses, coping mechanisms, problem-solving behaviors, stuff like that.

And that's still my theory - afterall, Hollywood is no place for a girl to come of age (or a boy, but the boys seem less likely to parade around in their underwear and pole dance in videos, strangely....and I guess it has to do with female sexualization in the media....sixteen year-old boys don't inspire the universal fantasy sequences that sixteen year-old girls manage, frankly.)

However - given the recent backlash in the media against a newer glut of pop stars and actresses being accused of "growing up too fast," and presenting an age-inappropriate image to their young fans, I figured it was time to investigate the behavior and expectations of the grown ups throwing the stones....there's an obvious backlash against the Miley Cyruses and Taylor Momsens and Kristen Stewarts out there right now, with plenty of magazines and websites clamoring to get their hands on photos and quotes by the girls at the same time they're condeming the behavior or the image the girls and the magazines and the tabloid television shows are making money off of.

Bottom line: we're expecting them to behave like adults, dress like girls, and somehow manage to endure celebrity and come out as well-adjusted as we'd hope for them to be were they raised out of the glare of the flashbulb. Expectations: much too high.

How about a few case studies to compare the behavior of the Starlets We Can't Escape with the adult complaint about them (because -- let's be honest -- it's a "Monday" morning after a holiday weekend - my "real job" is still sort of a cruel joke right now).

First up: Kristen Stewart.

She's ubiquitous because: the Twi-Hards may well unseat the Tea Party as the next eye-roll inducing stealth political movement.

If there's not a Twilight movie opening any given Friday, there's probably some sort of international photo call or highly publicized interview or media speculation about her hair, her relationship - or her fear of being assasinated by fans? That's the latest. On the heels of her comments comparing paparazzi photos of herself to rape (drawing the righteous ire of rape victims' advocate groups the globe over) she mentions that she's afraid of being killed on the red carpet. The official quote from Hello! magazine:

"I don't feel very comfortable on the red carpet...I look out there at a thousand people and I realize they could rush me and assassinate me. No security could protect me. Ostensibly they're fans, but I think about them turning on me."

And then she was torn to shreds for once again biting the Twi-Hard hands that feed her. So in this case, the misplaced expectation is that this kid (she's 20, by the way, making her certifiably old and wise in the realm of pop Starlets We Can't Escape) will be well-equipped to handle the fame she may or may not have asked for in the first place. She's the "reluctant ingenue," the type that didn't expect the fame that came with her career path, who finds herself worn down and tired from all of the attention (and all of costume changes, I can only assume?) and who speaks more honestly than we expect.

We expect our little teen angels to speak softly and carry a big...purse. We don't expect them to express anxiety over the level of international superstardom they've netted, we certainly don't expect them to resent our loving them, and we tear them to pieces when they show vulnerability. Show us your neck, kiddo - we'll sink our teeth in. She spent WEEKS apologizing for the rape comment - now she fears for her life on the red carpet. Hey, we (meaning "adults" and "the media") made her (meaning "interviewed her, photographed her, put her out there for the world to criticize") and then stood back and laughed when she acted surprised by all of the attention and actually reacted honestly (and awkwardly) to the entire side show.

Next up: Miley Cyrus

She's ubiquitous because: she made a deal with the Disney, and there's no gravy train like a Disney gravy train. Oh yeah - and she wants to be ubiquitous.

She's got great people working for her - they make sure any prime time show that might even possibly have anything to do with singing or dancing books her as a musical guest. She knows where the photogs will be and makes sure she and her boyfriend du jour show up there. She's trying to shed the Hannah Montana image, so in a desperate stab to be taken seriously as an "adult" she busts out sort of weak (or maybe just recycled and unoriginal) shock antics and wears teeny tiny clothes. The misplaced expectation: that any girl that starts out on the Disney Channel should grow up to become Charlotte York.

Dolly Parton (friend of the Cyrus family) jumped to Miley's defense recently, saying "“I’m there for her if she needs me, and I get upset lately, they’ve been hammering her to death, and she’s been trying hard to make the transition from Hannah Montana — she’s 17, and at that age … I know how I was at 17, so let’s leave Miley alone!”

Precisely.

We expect her to behave unlike a girl her age behaves. 17 year-old kids want to be adults. They act out - they wear fantastically ill-advised outfits out of the house, they push the limits, they test boundaries - celebrity kids are at the distinct disadvantage of having all of America watching when they decide a leotard and thigh-high boots doth a fantastic "outfit" make, but who among us didn't try to wear something to a party on a Friday night that showed just a little too much...?

Finally: Taylor Momsen

She's ubiquitous because: we got tired of Miley-bashing. And she's playing the ubiquity game to get her band a little recognition. In this case, we've got an expectation that a girl with access to fame would wait and get America's approval first BEFORE going all "Courtney Love meets Lindsay Lohan" on us. "Pretty Reckless? That's the name of her band, or what we call her eyeliner?" Band name.

One commenter on a NY Magazine post about Taylor's devolution said, wisely: "the thing with Taylor, Miley, etc is that they are just doing what we all kind of dreamed about doing when we were that age. but we didn't have the ability/parents/money to pull it off and are now very thankful for that."

Aha - there's the truth. We EXPECT them to know better than to leave the house wearing only a tank top and hosiery, but on the flip side, we sort of wish we'd had the legs to do that ourselves back when we were young. We pay the money to see their movies or tune in to watch their television shows, then play self-righteous and disgusted when their off-screen antics are just as bizarre as the scripted stuff, then inwardly admit it seems like they're having fun....and wouldn't we love to have the self-confidence to play big kid karaoke in a corset and blonde extensions.

Put a kid in the spotlight, throw money at them, follow them around with cameras, and all of a sudden the transition from pajama party princess to jail bait feels artificially sped up - like the growing up process is suddenly on steroids (when it's actually more like Growing Up On Frappacino).

This would all be gloriously less shocking if we just stopped expecting them to behave like good little Honor Society debutantes - they're kids. They're trying to be taken seriously. They just don't have the benefit of very many years to give them the wisdom to recognize they're going about it a little too dramatically, and that classy trumps trashy in the public opinion polls more often than not. It's hardly their fault that they have the money (and the metabolism) to tramp it up to their little leather bustier wearing, rape-comparing, fan-fearing hearts contents.

Adjust expectations accordingly.