Meh. Basically.

Alternate title: in defense of yet another unnecessarily criticized music video.

Victim this week: Miley Cyrus.

*****ARDENT DISCLAIMER: because I take fiendish pride in the fact that I've never listened to a single Miley/Hannah tune in my life (and will go to great lengths to keep it that way, though I won't speak for whether or not I own *cough* a pair of stretch pants with her name on the label *cough*), I actually watched this "Can't Be Tamed" video with the sound off.

My rationalization: I figured I could focus more directly on the actual imagery getting all of the attention without the distraction of her obnoxiously grating, cigarette-voice. And I just keep telling myself that.....

So: "people" (primarily -- and my personal favorite -- the righteously indignant gossip site COMMENTERS) are putting on their best "Appalled-Disgusted-and-Taken Aback" hats at the "Overtly Sexualized Image" dear lil Miley has managed in this video.

Because, you know, birds are sexy, naughty creatures. And our influenceable daughters totally know that channeling a vulture will make all the little boys hot.

And seventeen is clearly too young to sit in a cage with a faux-nest (whether that's what she's sitting upon OR what's sitting upon her head is yours to decide) and fling her little feathers around. Because that's about as sexy as it gets. She's wearing an ugly metal costume. She dances a little bit.

There's one scene where she's actually - GASP - laying on her back. Uh oh. Because our influenceable daughters also totally know that the second you're laying on your back in an ugly costume, you're toeing the Lolita line like nobody's business.

"Uh, Heather, in case you didn't NOTICE, she totally had her hand on her, um...upper ribcage in a few shots. That's like, totally too close to her little seventeen year-old...uh....breast for our parental comfort. Did I just say breast?"

To which I say:

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realize this was the first teenager to ever look sexy for money."

"Uh, also, Heather - in case you didn't FURTHER notice, we think we might have possibly seen her do a little hip-thrust-ee thing there in the middle of the video. Maybe. We think she was GRINDING on an invisible something. Seventeen year-olds should never do that with their hips. Not when there are children watching."

To which I say:

"I carried a watermelon."

Ahhh. Catch that reference there?

Baby? Johnny? "Entertainment staff" anyone?

Yeah - uh, Miley's hardly covering new ground here.

Well, new avian ground, maybe. I don't know that we've tried to do "hot, sexy bird" in recently history. So she's the first barely-legal BIRD to toss her hair around on screen in awhile. Ok, we'll give her that.

Basically, she just looks ANGRY. She can't be tamed, dammit. She's got some seventeen-year old IRE to vent on our judgemental asses. She can't be tamed, won't be tamed, hasn't been tamed, don't we dare try to tame her. She'll sic daddy on you if you try to tame her. Can't be done. Disney will make sure of it.

Yawn.

What's the point?

We've seen younger girls do worse, MANY times. It's like a rite of pop passage to titilate the middle-aged masses. If they're not gnashing their teeth and deriding you as inappropriate, you need to ditch your agent and take up with a new producer. Really. Unless I've just become completely desensitized to what's appropriate and what's not these days (and, ok, I'll allow a nod in that general direction, because I'm exceptionally difficult to offend, which may very well mean my "inapprorpriate radar" is also a little fried), it seems to me this is just a sort of dark, squinty, befeathered take on the "look at me, I'm grown up!" schtick that's been done to death by generations of Not-Yet-Girls-Not-Yet-Women.
Here's hoping this halloween sees a huge "Sexy Bird" trend. That'd be hot.