Darn - for a minute there I actually (oops) thought he was hot.....

Dear Jude,

I have a recurring theme here these days: famous people I don't like. I guess it's easier to come up with reasons to be irritated by someone than it is to put together a list of "reasons person X is awesome."

Anyway - since the very early "The Talented Mr Ripley" days I've had a problem with you. A big Jude Law Problem.

You look whiny.

You play emo wimps more often than not (ugh - "Closer," anyone?).

You get more credit for being good-looking than you deserve.

That whole "Sienna Miller" thing has me vexed, too....the on/off/on/off relationship is too much to keep track of...and is it just me, or is Sienna Miller sort of like Naomi Watts in the sense that unless someone tells me I'm looking at a picture of one of them, I'd have no idea who they were from one outfit to the next? She's so vanilla with such an overinflated sense of her status as some sort of UK style icon. Just me? Fine, okay....

Find a new girlfriend, you whiny, overrated emo wimp. Yes, you WERE in that movie "The Holiday." Yes. You. Were. And you can't hide behind the "But so was Kate Winslet" excuse - Kate Winslet wasn't the one that spent 90 minutes sobbing over a relationship with Cameron Diaz. You can't explain your way out of this one, dude. Just like you can't explain what Gattaca was about, exactly. OH - it was about genetic discrimination in a monocrome futuristic age? Fine - but it was a sleeper of a movie, and you were in it, therefore, I'm blaming you.

And then I saw some pictures of you arriving in Paris with Sienna and the kids in tow and I actually - for perhaps the first time - thought, "uh, Jude Law. Hot."

Why, exactly?

Because you let the receeding hairline out for once. Yep, Heather loves the hairlines that are trying to make an escape.

Instead of a bizarre permed-looking comb-over, you rocked the sort of euro-faux-hawk think and let the forehead get some airtime. Combine that with the "ooh, I think I can see some chest hair trying to climb out of that v-neck" detail (I'm a sucker for a good chest rug) and Jude, you've actually got something to work with here. The messed up jeans look decently hot. Black shirts and a good tan: always a safe bet in the sexy department. For one jaunt through the airport, I actually thought, "Hmmm, if I passed you on a moving sidewalk I'd actually probably look twice and even excuse the Risky Business shades."

And then you headed off to the Czech Republic to accept some sort of award and went back to the sweaty, frizzed-out comb over.

As such: the hotness is over, you're back to looking like a tool.

Yours, much chagrined,

Heather