what, pray tell, has happened to Christmas music these days???

Ok, let's first get the fact that I was raised on Manheim Steamroller Christmas tunes out of the way so that we're all on the same page about what I consider to be REAL christmas music. If it's not George Winston on the keys or Amy Grant singing about snow in Colorado or some strange synth interpretation of Carol of the Bells, it's just sub-par.

HOWEVER - we've got a radio station here in beautiful RAINY Seattle that plays nothing but Christmas tunes from Thanksgiving day right up to New Year's Day or something ridiculous. It's the "soft rock" adult contempo station you love to hate the rest of the year, but for this month of the year (due to work prohibiting online radio for bandwidth reasons during the work day) I listen to "Warm Christmas Favorites" all day, every day.

I can deal with the Carpenters sucking the joy right out of traditional Christmas carols, I can deal with the Beatles "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime" because - uh, if you can't get away from 'em, embrace 'em - but do we really need FIVE - count 'em, FIVE - renditions of "Last Christmas," that venemous tune about giving some undeserving soul your heart for Christmas and having it handed to you the "very next day?" Thanks, George Michael for inflicting the unecessary first rendition on us (we'll forgive you, you were probably strung out and recorded it wearing nothing but Wellies and a Santa hat), but really - did Savage Garden, Jimmy Eat World, Hilary Duff AND (I cross myself even as I type this) the CHEETAH GIRLS really need to put their own nauseating spin on a song that ought not have been recorded, let alone inflicted upon our unsuspecting Christmas spirits at all in the first place???? Can't a girl just listen to her Bing Crosby and Perry Como in peace? Wilson Phillips, "Santa Baby" is this close to being a Christmas felony.

Yes, Mariah Carey completely DE-Christmas-ized "O Holy Night," and there's something creepy about N'Sync serenading me with some lame ballad that happens to contain the word "Christmas" somewhere in it's lyrics and therefore qualifies as a Holiday Song.

Give me Rosemary Clooney, give me Harry Connick, give me Dean Martin and Alvin & the Chipmunks, even Joan Baez ferheavenssake - sure, I can handle a healthy dose of 80's holiday cheese (hence the Manheim Steamroller that I can't decorate a tree without), but at least keep the roots in something "Christmas-ee."

Yes, that means YOU "American Idols." I'm onto your "Great Holiday Classics." Justin Guarini is probably enough to make me set my tree on fire.