I simply do not like this woman.

I'm sorry - I know she's like one of those "most beloved" entertainment figures to most all women between the ages of 20 and 54, but really - she's just irritating as all get out.

And I can't escape her.

I'm tired of seeing her caramel highlights all over every magazine and gossip site from here to Malawi.  That stupid Bounty Hunter movie tanked anyway (I think, in fact, it was the only movie preview I've ever been completely bored watching - I mean, even in previews Nights in Rodanthe looked almost interesting - aren't previews supposed to be edited to show you the BEST PARTS of the movie? If they couldn't even come up with 2 minutes of clips that weren't uncomfortable, WHY would I want to go see that flick? Oh - because JEN'S in it. Riiiiight) so let's just move on already.

I'm tired of the worn out Gerard Butler schtick.

I'm tired of her boring dresses and her boring pencil skirts and her weak attempts to spice up her wardrobe by adding PINK. Ooh. Ahh. Jen's in pink.

I'm tired of reading about what she's THINKING about naming her forthcoming "fragrance line." Let's call it "Desperation: by Jennifer Aniston." Mmmmm. I'm thinking top notes of freesia, mandarin and the angst of a woman approaching the end of her child bearing years.

I'm tired of the fact that every single character she plays in every single one of her lame movies is essentially the same. She doesn't act - she gets costumed up to play herself.

Let's face it: she was a trendy ditz with a trendy hair cut on a trendy sitcom fifteen years ago. She's done nothing since then to merit the constant barrage of photos we're slammed with daily. She's made no good movies. She's made plenty of bad movies ("The Break Up," anyone????? Ooh, or how about "Picture Perfect," or "Rumor Has It" or "Love Happens?" Did we see those? Did we want to stab ourselves in the ear with forks the entire time?). She's done NOTHING to secure this "most beloved woman scorned" spot in all of our ever-celebrity-gossip-loving hearts.

Case in point: a stupid article making the rounds suggesting that Jen & Brad (who, by the way, lacked ANY sort of chemistry when they were together, nevermind now that they're apart) were "caught kissing."

And we're supposed to, what, stop everything and pray to the great Chateau Marmont Gods that it's true?

I don't understand.

In other news, it seems Lindsay Lohan made it home without falling down last night. And Misha Barton made an appearance at a party wearing clunky white strappy heels that should probably never have seen the light of day, let alone been paired with a discotastic gold mini dress a good few inches too short.

I feel like I should sort of take dibs on which of those hot mess has-beens will die in a dramatic car accident first. Lindsay seems the obvious guess, but given the rumours about Misha's financial woes and her "tell me she's kidding" outfits (there are no words for this one, no words) I'm left wondering if she isn't just as far gone as Lindsay.....

Either way - I'd rather be inundated with brain-pickling updates on who fell down and who may have coughed their vodka back up into the bushes last night than endure another analysis of Jen's movie premier fashion choices. She's bland. Like wandering into an ice cream shoppe where you've got 364 flavors of vanilla to chose from and they only serve single scoops on wafer cones. Lots of boring.