Dang, Shia. You're breakin my heart. You've joined the Mugshot Club. Trouble is, you weren't thrown out of Mr Chow's or caught making a scene at Pure or seen smearing your face with food at Chateau Marmont...
You got arrested at Wallgreens. For refusing to leave.
Riddle me this, you irritatingly good-looking man-child: what was SOOOOOOO hot at the drugstore you REFUSED to leave when they tried to throw you out? I've wasted time in a drugstore or two (it was standard recreation in college...broke and bored: let's go kill time wandering around the local strip malls) - but I'm a GIRL. Girls are supposed to stand, google-eyed and dazzled in front of the Revlon displays when mascara goes on a great sale. We're supposed to sniff every bottle of shampoo before deciding on the overpriced coconut-scented brand.
I've never known a man in my life that wanted to spend more than 30 seconds buying his bar of Safeguard and getting out of that drug store as quickly as possible.
Maybe Chicago's different? Maybe in drugstores in Chicago there are X-Boxes set up with Halo III and free beer and hot wings and maybe the aisles are long enough to toss a football - maybe they're more like sports bars.
Or maybe Shia likes shampoo? And greeting cards? And makeup? Maybe he's just reeeeeeaaaallllly into vitamins and toothpaste? Maybe when he's drunk he gets an irresistible urge to floss and wash his face with Olay products? Maybe he wanted to slather himself in Carmex or Caress body wash? Maybe a night of hard drinking left him feeling...dirty.
Beats me - why bother getting yourself arrested for "trespassing" in a drug store? Isn't that like Megan Fox getting arrested for refusing to leave a Sports Authority or something? I don't get it.
HOWEVER - if I ever end up in Chicago's Chi-Town, I'm finding that Walgreens and taking a picture of myself there...in that Walgreens that obviously sells giant plasma-screen tv's and broadcasts football throughout the store (the aisles of which are OBVIOUSLY filled with hot strippers and models in their underwear) and has a bar in the back serving $1 pints of Kokanee (that come with free Grey Goose shots or something).
p.s. - I still love you Shia - you and Brad Paisley. You're the only ones on my very short list of men I'd have to think twice (no, think a dozen times) about leaving K for if you ever asked me to run away with you...er, or if you asked me to go buy mascara and bubble bath with you...?
That dude has gotten a serious nose job. For real.
ReplyDeleteBut it looks great though.