Monday, February 8, 2010

hot blondes and mortgage APRs.


I'm confused.


I mean, I know, sidebar ads aren't necessarily meant to make sense from a conventional marketing standpoint, they're meant to catch our eye, encourage an errant click and boom - off we roll, forgetting why we began on any particular page, but really glad we got our hands on life-saving information that will keep us from snore-induced crib death. I think that mexican food lunch has drained just enough blood from my brain that I fail to see the logic in the pictures chosen for this particular sidebar ad (possible...just like it's possible that I had a few brain cells stolen from me while I stood in front of the TV this morning watching with googly eyes while that Q13 Fox Morning Show Girl Who Yaps Exclusively About Reality TV - But Primarily American Idol - tried to fill me in on the Super Bowl commercials we'd seen 23 times already by 6:30 this morning...).

Anyway - those guys in that picture popped up on the side of the USA Today website and they have me convinced that the lowermybills.com people are totally in bed with the match.com people and the Facebook people and they're all engaged in a big stock photography-swapping orgy, banking on the fact that people of my age, gender, earning power and tracking cookie history will go completely click-crazy over a toothy blonde.

I would ask the obvious question "what do cute (presumably "single! single! single!") blonde girls have to do with mortgage rates?"  but come on, Heather. It's totally obvious:

If I click that link, then I'll be e-zapped off to a special place where I will meet and fall in love with a toothy blonde, get a great rate on a perfect cookie cutter new construction on a quiet cul-de-sac that we'll buy together and we'll live happily ever after to a Ke$ha soundtrack for the rest of our shiny, size-2 little lives. She'll drive the hybrid Lexus SUV, I'll have the Volvo coupe with lots of horsepower. We'll spritz our tanned little selves with fragrances by Kim Kardashian and stay skinny using tricks we learned from Vernon Davis. And before we tuck ourselves in each night within the pretty walls of our perfect little Crate and Barrel bedroom, we'll thank the Lord for those good folks over at AdBlade that brought us (and our amazing 3.62% APR!) together.

Thanks, AdBlade!

Definitely not confused any more.

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