People (and research institutes) having worse Mondays than I...

Time for another round of my favorite game, a good opportunity for me to realize that my day isn't so bad - I could be any of these people (or research institutes) - though, as a sidenote, I notice that this is also a good thermometer against which to measure my general mood - the easier it is to find people having a worse day than I, the better I figure my spirits must be...when it's difficult to find good examples of bad days....I must be having a Monday:


OJ Simpson


I'd say "good morning" to OJ, but if the jury selected for his trial due to begin today is any indication, OJ's morning is anything but good. The all-white panel of nine women and three men will hear opening arguments in a case that alleges OJ and five other men (two of them armed) raided a Las Vegas hotel room to recover what Simpson claims was "stolen sports memorabilia." He's facing armed robbery and kidnapping charges, and, if convicted of all charges, faces life in prison. Even worse for OJ than a predominantly female, white jury: four of his five co-defendants flipped on him and are scheduled to testify for the prosecution. That's a photo of Judge Jackie Glass - she maintains that the prosecution had "race-neutral" reasons for dismissing African-American potential jurors.


The Cedars-Sinai Womens' Cancer Research Institute


This weekend marked the 4th anniversary of The Pink Party to benefit womens' cancer research at Cedars. Good cause - and who better to raise money for an LA hospital than celebrities? Faux-celebs, it appears. Yes, the marvel of modern gossip-website-marketing "SPEIDI" were on hand, looking decidedly...mismatched. I'm not sure who Heidi was channeling when she figured slicked-back hair and drag queen makeup were the best way to accent her, um...rather sharp features. Dlisted said it best: "Cindy McCain called, she wants her hair back." Naturally, cancer research doesn't know the difference between celebrity money and faux-celebrity money, but, um...I do. And as much as I like to laugh at the strange "cue the commercial break" silences at the end of conversations on "The Hills," I still haven't figured out how Lauren, Audrina, Heidi, et all, have managed to maintain enough pop culture relevance to still warrant invitations to things like charity parties. I just. don't. get. it. As "reality television stars," they're right up there with Billy Bush on the annoying scale. As "famous people" they're about as confusing as...Starr Jones. As style icons, they're...um...on par with Miley Cyrus. As walking advertisements for the merits of breast augmentation procedures and the many opportunities afforded post nose-job, they're bar none. Bottom line: I think women's cancer research was undermined this weekend (but okay, it still won't keep me from using Lauren Conrad as my bellweather for what nail polish shade will be hot this fall...).


Debbie Phelps


It must be tough to be reminded that your son, Flipper, is, in fact, human after all. If he'd actually nailed his SNL hosting-gig even I would have had to ponder whether or not Jesus still walked among us. Good to know that Flipper has his limits. Even the golden love-energy of Carrie Underwood couldn't make un-funny material funny. Or help him read a teleprompter. Hmm - you mean they don't teach that in the pool? Swim fast, date pretty girls, read without moving your eyes. Oh - and that smiley creature in the phonetic t-shirt: I won't be buying one of those shirts. We know how I feel about Flipper.


Shia LeBeouf


So, I'll get my opinion out of the way early: this kid is the only movie star under 40 worth looking at these days (just too cute for his own good...*sigh*). So, I don't know if the final installment of Shia Post-Crash Hand Surgery really means that he's having a rough day, but it's an excuse for me to toss up another picture of him. According to MSNBC, he has one more operation to repair the crushed hand, then he's "back to 100 percent." Meaning, I suppose, that then he's free to get belligerent on another drug store, or whatever young things do to stir up trouble these days...