For aunt Kim...And because it has been awhile.

(Alternate titles: "I Send 'Em Running to the Far Reaches of the Continent" or "You Can't Keep A Good Paraprofessional Accountant Down," or "This Week's Contestant In: So You Think You Can Work Here???")

Things have been busy lately.

(but before I get to that: Starbucks, in some sort of philosophical attempt to make drinking from their paper cups a spiritual experience, has taken to printing trite platitudes penned by everyone from Dr Laura to a National Geographic herpetologist, then adding a nice asterisk at the bottom reminding any of us that actually read the "fine print" on our coffee cups that "This is the author's opinion, not necessarily that of Starbucks." Today's gem: "Growing up, my parents always said, 'You will leave this world the same way you came into it: with nothing.' It made me realize that the only things we do in this world that count are those things that make the world a better place for those who will come behind us." Tyrone B. Hayes, Biologist said that - Starbucks may or may not agree.)

But back to the "things have been busy" gripe:

After "SHE" took off for the heartland to work for no pay with a man that does not love her, the huge "when will I next explode with fury over a diatribe extolling the virtues of a chemical-free lifestyle????" weight was lifted (which, coincidentally, I have trouble reconciling with her penchant for highlighting her hair with chemical bleaching agent), it was time to hire "HER" replacement.

I begin to wonder if perhaps my boss didn't marry the first girl he took to a drive-in-movie date 40-some years ago, because he has a habit of hiring the first person he interviews. SO - after one interview, we'd replaced HER. With a nice, soft-spoken girl that could never get to work on time. A nice girl that separated from her husband after two days with us, and it was touch-and-go from then on out. She would leave for a lunch related to the legal separation, call back in tears hours later and say she couldn't come back to the office the rest of the day. She moved out of her married home and into an apartment closer to work, then - in a stab at living a more urban lifestyle - sold her car and planned to take the bus to work. But the bus schedule seemed to be an ongoing mystery to her and she would miss one bus, then another, then another, then call after she was an hour late to say she was on her way, it just might be an hour...or two.

So, we were understanding to a point - the girl was going through some monumental life changes and we wanted to be flexible - flexible right up to the point where we realized it was in our better interest to seem a little more assertive and have "a meeting." A "please get here on time or we can't keep you on board" meeting. At which point she said, "Actually, my husband decided to sell the house, so I have a little extra money, so I'm putting all of my stuff in storage and riding my Yamaha down to south America. Do you want me to work through the end of the week?"

So, first it was single woman pursuing "chance of a lifetime to work for no pay with a man that doesn't want to marry me in Missouri," now it's single woman pursuing "chance of a lifetime to take my motorcycle to Brazil." I'm starting to feel very dull. Very predictable. Very stable. Very...settled down. Very promotion-worthy.

At any rate, we had to replace another one. So we hired the first person we interviewed. And I'm cutting my "management teeth" on a woman twice my age, with perhaps twice my experience. I'm Topher Grace to her Dennis Quaid (without any intentions of dating her daughter, mind you. And without the annoying attitude. Or sales babble. Or Porsche. And better hair)

SO - in my two and a half years at this desk, staring out at the Ugliest Highway In The World I've outlasted three office mates and am now curious to see how long the 4th lasts.