MegaMonthofCountdowns #5 - Favorite albums of the year

Music time, I guess. Seemed like the next reasonable genre.....I've always been pretty unashamed to cop to the fact that I have horrible taste in music. I mean, Ke$sha took up permanent real estate in disc 6 of the car's changer this summer. And I was unapologetic about inflicting her on people riding with me - I'd just shrug, say, "what? I have bad taste." and that was that.

HOWEVER - let's call 2010 my year of "Moderately Improved Taste." I began the year absolutely determined to make it to Coachella. So I familiarized myself with HUNDREDS of bands on the lineup and went through a sort of musical immersion school getting up to speed with "cool bands." Bands that were not in my musical library. Bands that other people wouldn't cringe to hear me mention.

Then along came Mr Wonderful and his vast library-like collection of tunes - I inflicted a little Gaga and Christina on him (spared him the Ke$sha because, well: he's Wonderful). He introduced me to Scotland. Musically speaking. We've yet to visit in a geographic sense, but at least 2 of my top 10 are Scottish groups. They make good music there, apparently.

SO, as with books, this isn't a list of "Favorite Albums Released in 2010," instead its just "A bunch of CDs I really enjoyed this year." So there, music snobs.

Camera Obscura - My Maudlin Career
Scottish group #1 is a favorite of Mr Wonderful's - took a little bit for me to warm up to the simplified, retro sounds of these ladies - and then their charming lyrics and sweet voices and sort of tender homage to music of bygone eras began to grow on me. It's a little du-wop, a little sock-hop, and very easy to leave on repeat for most of the evening. We listened to "My Maudlin Career" quite a bit in the beginning of our relationship, and this is now a sentimental favorite as well as a soothing collection of songs that tends to be a pretty uniform crowd-pleaser. Favorite track: James.

Christina Aguilera - Bionic
Oh come on, this is MY list. And I love The Christina. And, so what if she blamed her now-estranged soon-to-be-ex for the flop of this album (and blamed the flop of this album on the decay of her marriage or something ridiculous), it's still a completely fun cd. There's a very specific road map that each of Christina's releases follow - start with a fun, upbeat party tune. Add a few more. Then stick the sappy power-ballads in the middle and pile them one on top of the other. Then try experimental stuff at the tail end, maybe as bonus tracks for a deluxe edition. Feature a few up-and-coming lesser-knows as collaborators on a few tracks, pad the cd with some filler to round out the 21-track listing and end with a little more sap. That's pretty much the formula this album followed as well. BUT, aside from the fact that I skip the "Glam" song because everything about it screams "Awkward Fun Montage Scene in Sex & The City movie," this was a lot more solid release than she was given credit for - fun electro-pop numbers, good "sing-along-in-the-car-at-the-top-of-your-lungs" ballads, all in all part of Christina's continuing evolution. Favorite Track: Monday Morning.

Cocteau Twins - Four-Calendar Cafe
Another Scottish fave. These ladies had a pretty solid 20-year run with their unique blend of dreamy, euro-pop production and wispy vocals. This is another sentimental favorite this year because The Mister and I spent so many cozy evenings together with Four-Calendar Cafe as our background soundtrack, but it's another ambient winner that you can leave playing for hours and never get tired of hearing. Not terribly easy to sing along with (though try: it'll make you giggle when you try to hit those high, airy notes and end up sounding more like puppy-with-tail-stepped-on). Favorite Track: Oil of Angels

Heartless Bastards - The Mountain
The first time I listened to this album I was playing hookey from work, wandering the sand of Alki waterfront in less-than-waterfront-worthy shoes and contemplating big, life-changing concepts. Had the iPod on shuffle (and filled with lots of Coachella tunes and their soundalikes hoping to brush up on this year's indie-rock scene). The track "Hold your head high" came on at random and a first listen left me in sort of fist-in-the-air, I-will-survive type tears in the eyes. "Hold your head high, as high as you can, things will come back soon, things will come around again...." Apparently it was just what I needed to hear. The low-down on this band: very simple sound, recorded with lots of open space. Very simple guitar, drums, bass formula, but the chick-singer's vocals are the centerpiece. She has a very put-on sound, a very manufactured, raspy growl -- but I love scratchy, raspy singing voices. See: Beth Hart.  For some reason this has become a popular "dinnertime soundtrack" this year - to me, there's an aspect of "Road Trip Tunes" to their sound - the sort of breezy, midwestern roots to their sound makes it feel like an album that should be played plenty loud, with the windows rolled down...Favorite track: Hold Your Head High

Jets Overhead - No Nations
These guys were slated to perform at Coachella (uh, the punchline to this year is that I ultimately couldn't afford to go...the Mister intervened with a great long weekend at the coast that more than made up for it, but alas - my devoted...er, FRANTIC....listening was all for naught....). I originally listened to this and thought, "The Mister would like these guys!" Turned out I was right (which was a proud moment, since someone with Bad Taste in music very rarely recommends anything anyone else will enjoy). But I like it just as much. It's more sort of ethereal, ambient electro-pop with androgenous sort of vocals ("this track is definitely a dude singing....er, wait, no......is it?"), but terrific production, and interesting, "laying on your back, daydreaming, watching funny-shaped clouds float by" sort of lyrics. Favorite track: Weathervanes.

 Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
I was trying to describe this cd after hearing it reviewed glowingly on NPR: glowingly, and earnestly, in fact, by the most middle-aged sounding journalist you can imagine, which, I suppose, just goes to show that you can be hip at any age. Take my Grandma for instance. She's crossed the 80-year mark and knows her Beyonce just as well as any of us. Anyway - was trying to describe Kanye's latest release and kept coming back to, "It's almost like he channeled his inner Imogen Heap....sure, it's auto-tuned, but in a really musical, high-brow way!." Which is true. We have rock operas - well, this is a rap opera. And, say what you will about Kanye's ego, the man knows good production. And say what you will about his sort of sluggish style and whiny voice, the guy comes up with interesting, pop-culturally-relevant lyrics. And say what you will about Taylor Swift. No, wait, don't - I can't stand her and her eternal optimism. I just can't. But Kanye's cd - like it very much. Favorite track: Runaway. Shoot - that's totally stuck in my head now....."Here's a toast to the douchebags....."

Lucero - Tennessee

Speaking of raspy, irritating voices:  Lucero's lead singer has got one of the most grating, irritating voices out there. And I LOVE it (again, see: Beth Hart). This is heartland pop or alternative country or slightly twang-infused garage rock. Full of guitars and big heavy drums and lots of talk about WHISKEY. But layered between that are some startlingly poetic lyrics - traditional topics: love, heartbreak, cigarettes, underaged girls, things like that. This was a great sountrack to my frequent drives through mountain passes to visit Mr Wonderful - perfect sountrack to a sunny summer morning when the sun is rising over the trees, the sky is blue, you're doing 15 over the speed limit and wish you didn't have to take that exit toward work. This album spent more time in my car than anything else this year. Favorite lyric: "I can still taste that god-awful perfume you wore...." Favorite track: Nights Like These.

 Mute Math - Armistice (Live)
A friend who knew I had some aspirations of becoming a badass chick-drummer recommended this band because their dummer is so precise it was almost hard to believe it wasn't an electronic drum machine track. So I listened to a few songs primarily for the drums. Then got hooked. And would play Armistice over and over and over again for hours at a time. Got several, "ooh, who's this?" responses when I played it in the car -- subtly different from the "EW, who's this?" remarks I was so used to receiving. Usually not a huge fan of live iterations of albums I love (that damn crowd noise), but in this case they add some interesting interludes and guitar solos and fun extras that keeps it interesting. The singer's voice might have to grow on you slightly, but their "rumoured-to-be-Christian" lyrics are lovely and thoughtful and their drummer is FLIPPIN RIGHTEOUS. Favorite track: Odds.

Sister Hazel - Before the Amplifiers
I've loved Sister Hazel for more than a decade (actually, I've probably got several posts in the archives about this band) - so it's fun when they release an acoustic cd that spans their entire career - sort of an unplugged "best-of." This is great - takes the best tracks from their last seven releases or so and strips them down to the basics. Love Ken Block's tinny voice, love the song selection, only complaint is the obnoxious "man in the crowd" who "WHOOOOOOOOOO's!!!!" too loudly before every song. Favorite track: Champagne High (of course!).

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It's Blitz

This was probably the second-most played cd in the changer this year. And probably a good chunk of last year. Fantastic spread of moods on this album - from fun post-punk that sounds best turned way up to soft, almost timid-sounding lullaby-like numbers. They added a few acoustic remixes on the end (and a dance version of the first track Zero that feels like a combination of too much caffeine mixed with sudafed and recorded on steroids) and one track that, for some reason, seems to me it would make a delightfully off-beat wedding processional. Love the vocals and the spunky guitar. Favorite track: Hysteric

MegaMonthofCountdowns #4 - Best books of the year

I read a lot.

I read very quickly.

My Kindle has allowed me to blow through unmitigated amounts of cash with this gloriously simple one-click "BUY!" trick that makes it....disturbingly easy to amasse a huge collection of books without leaving the comfort of my couch.

It's StarTrek is what it is.

SO - not all of these books were published this year - these are just some that I've read that I'd let ya borrow - if they were printed on real paper. Which most of them weren't. But yes, last Christmas season I could read a book a day without blinking. I went broke $9.99 at a time.

This was my first foray into the Palahniuk. The guy has great style. Subtle ways of packing big philosophical punch. The gist: messed up guy faux-chokes (or, really chokes, but on purpose) in restaurants to enlist life-saving maneuvers from strangers who's lives are impacted by the act of saving a life and they (interestingly), all remember "the day they saved someone's life" and send him money in greeting cards. His primary income, pretty much. There's also a side story with his ailing mother and some crazy "doctor" in the retirement home where she lives who convinces the main character he may have been cloned from the foreskin of Christ? Not kidding. But the writing was great, the characters were completely (believeably) offbeat, the message underlying the plot (about the moral quandary of lies, for instance) was well-developed and surprisingly thoughtful....all in all, good read.

Ah, Klosterman. So witty. This is the writer who suggested that all of us women between the ages of 18 and 60 had a Lloyd Dobbler crush that we mistook for a John Cusack crush. It was the book that prompted me to write my tretise on the wimpiness of Lloyd Dobbler. It's essentially a random collection of Klosterman's recollections from the early 90's - he writes about the fact that "The Real World" producers weren't really offering us a glimpse at a cross section of the youth of America - nope. Instead, "they were unintentionnal creating it. By now, everyone I know is one of seven defined strangers, inevitably hoping to represent a predefined demographic and always failing horribly...during the first RW summer, I saw kids on MTV who reminded me of people I knew in real life. By 1997, the opposite was starting to happen; I kept meaning new people who were like old Real Word characters..." Okay, so maybe that wasn't one of the "stitch-in-your-side" moments of brilliant hilarity, but it was that sort of unique perspective on what was going on around him that made for some unique reading. Highly recommend.

 Also on the "highly recommend" list is Francis Chan's "Crazy Love." This one was a life-changer. This is one book that I would give to absolutely every friend and family member and casual aquaintance and person I'm not crazy about, not so much in a "this will change your life" sort of way as much as in a "please hold me accountable to living the way this book reasons we should live" sort of way... It's an incredible eye-opener that will take anyone's faith to a new, more practical, more liveable, more authentic, more loving place. In a nutshell: there's an amazing, holy, blameless God who loves us more than we can begin to imagine. Shouldn't our lives be a living example of that love? Should't we cower in awe of the love we don't deserve and do everything we can for each breath we take to be an extension of living that love out in the lives of other people? Seems pretty simple, right? Why try to adhere to rules, dogma, why try to be RELIGIOUS when you can be loving. Get rid of your "thou shalt..." check list and live faithfully, biblically, prayerfully, LOVINGLY. Live on less. Give more. Get out of your comfort zone and make your life worth something in light of the fact that we've been saved by grace. Don't waste a precious life by living weakly, without conviction. BEAUTIFUL book.

 I heard Mukherjee interviewed on "Morning Edition" and was completely transfixed by the idea of a "Biography of Cancer." That's essentially what this is - it's a hands-on, in-layman's-terms, human-interest-styled take on the history of our understanding of and attempts to cure Cancer. Yes, with a capital C. It looks back at some ancient, historic examples of kings and queen's attempts to lance off cancerous growths, at our ever-evolving grasp of what triggers and what cures unregulated cell growth, traces through the social stigmas of those stricken by the disease and the surprising amount of condemnation many doctors (or, early, radical students of the disease, really) encountered when trying dramatically to cure the disease.

If you're passionate about human rights and social justice and global freedom from slavery and oppression, do yourself a favor and read this book. It's a very honest, achingly accurate, movingly insightful look into the horrors of human trafficking and the sex trade, much of which is happening in our backyard. If we could free millions of trafficked sex workers from slavery and offer them entrepeneurial training and education and a means to support themselves independently, wouldn't it seem like a no-brainer to get involved in any way possible? Read this book.

 I saw the Kate Winslet movie adaptation of this book a few years ago and loved it. Decided I was curious to see how closely the screenplay followed its source material. EERILY so, apparently. Almost verbatim. But it was a delightful read, the characters were even more colorful and believable and interesting on the page than in the film -- and -- while I can't say this about ANY of Tom Perrotta's other novels ("The Abstinence Teacher," anyone? Good grief that book was horrendous....), I felt like he nailed the "normal people" dialogue pretty decently. Of course, I couldn't help envisioning Kate Winslet and Jennifer Connelly and Jason Patrick in the roles (which didn't entirely match up with the characters' written descriptions), but all-in-all, it's rare to find a book-to-movie adaptation where both the book and the movie hold up to each other so well. Definitely recommend.

 This one impressed me because I had to actually use my brain's full capacity to grasp almost any sentence in the book. This man loves words. I love words. Therefore I love this man who loves words in all of their essayed glory. He reviews a dictionary (and this was my favorite part of the book - discussing various schools of diction and their warring opinions. Like grammar porn to this word junkie). He brandishes a big ironic stick when -- very dryly -- evaluating precisely what it is about Kafka that's funny. To the point that it's not funny. Which becomes funny in its own right. The title of that chapter: Some Remarks on Kafka's Funniness From Which Probably Not Enough Has Been Removed. Love it. This really is just a collection of essays by a man who has the most superb grasp of the English language I've bumped across this side of Greenwich Mean Time. He tries to dissect why we, as a nation, continue to read autobiographical sports memoirs (when most of them are insipid and brain-numbingly unoriginal), providing snippets from a Tracy Austin tome that's pretty much, yes, the most insipid, brain-numbingly unoriginal "writing" ever. This book, however: certainly not insipid, and certainly not brain-numbing.

 Heh. From highbrow to fluff-lit with mass market appeal. Okay, okay, maybe fluff is too harsh. I'll say this about Jodi Picoult: as much as I resist ever picking one of her books up because I feel rather like I instantly become a middle-aged woman with a grown-out perm wearing practical New Balance tennis shoes while dining by myself at an Olive Garden with a glass of white zinfandel in hand, I never seem to be able to put her books down once I start. Her writing is absolutely mediocre (that is, all of her female characters of a certain age are completely alike. All of her male characters of a certain age are indistinquishable from one another, and all of her teenaged characters of a certain age were all cut from the same cloth), BUT she creates compelling plots. And she does her research on those hot-button social issues that she likes to tackle. I call her books "social issue family dramas" because they inevitably involve a touchy subject like rape, religion, suicide, abortion, drug use (you get the idea) and are usually situated inside the walls of a New England family home. So, yes, I read about half a dozen of her books this year, and The Pact was my favorite. It worked backwards to try to unravel the mystery about a teenage suicide pact. In the process, the families of the involved teens unravel. It wasn't necessarily serious fiction, but it was a good beach-read. Frankly, it's what I'm hoping to crank out in rapid succession one day soon, so hey, I can admire her career, either way.

 I love, love, love George Pelecanos. Just like I love, love, love Greg Iles and Jeffrey Lent. Pelecanos did some writing for "The Wire" (which would explain why, after years of reading everything he'd written, I felt distinctly like I was watching a Pelecanos novel come to live with the first episode of "The Wire" I ever watched). He writes gritty, DC crime noir - he nails dialogue. He tackles action and suspense very deftly. This was a quick read -- it was also a diversion in tone, akin to a coming-of-age drama or a family saga. Still plenty of suspense, still a certain amount of urban grit, but a slightly more suburban setting. The snapshot: kid ends up in prison, kid gets out of prison and hits the straight and narrow, stumbles upon a criminal plot, is compelled to "do the right thing," ends up embroiled in subversion anyway when his buddies are less inclined to "do the right thing." Also included: nice doses of redemption and a little romance and some well-written father/son struggles.

So, technically, this was intended for "MEN." Fine. That alone interested me. Figured it couldn't hurt to get a little insight into the way a MAN's soul operates. This was actually a pretty engaging book, MUCH more so than "Captivating: Discovering the secret of a woman's heart" that was written by Eldredge's wife Stasi and intended for women. This had to do with the fundamentals of a man's need to be wild, strong, a fighter, a champion - and the ways that we often stifle that fundamental urge as parents, as wives, as partners and family members and friends and colleagues. It was eye-opening, really - and definitely equipped me with some future parenting ideas that never would have occured to me before. It came at a practical time in my life, too, as this last year has been about a lot of learning and discovery...anyway - it's a quick read, it's an interesting perspective on the male psyche written from a spiritual perspective that I really enjoyed. I connected less with the fundamentals of Captivating because I felt suspiciously that it was intented for women who are mothers of daughters.....anyway - Wild at Heart - insightful, written in a very digestable, conversational style, the pages flip by quickly - all-in-all a refreshingly memorable read.

Ta-da!

Still pondering what countdown #5 will be. I've done celebrity fashion, I've done wine, I've done books, I've done gossip sites....feels like perhaps I should tackle music or movies.....stay tuned.

MegaMonthofCountdowns #3 - Favorite Celebrity Gossip Websites [UPDATED]

It's a goldmine out there for celebrity-gossip-loving peons like this kid.

IF you're bored and nosy and fascinated by the antics of people who may or may not alert the paparazzi before heading to the proverbial envelope opening only to spin around and rail self-righteously against the infringement upon their privacy when they're caught falling down drunk at the end of the night, THEN you know there are HUNDREDS of sites out there catering to every unimportant move, every hit-and-run, every ill-advised hookup, every pregnancy scare, every cat fight, every bong hit and every fashion misstep these famous people make.

Long sentence.

So, here are a few of my favorite sites - the ones that help me keep track of what jungle beasts turn up at who's wedding (answer: elephant; Nicole Richie), which boring, social climbing starlet is angry at a rival's spot-on SNL impersonation of her (answer: Katie Holmes; Anne Hathaway), which sitcom has-been has some unexpected bedroom preferences (Kelsey Grammar), which college dropout is angling for an adjunct professorship position at the Parsons School of Design (answer: Gaga) and which "are-they-or-aren't-they" new "couple" has yet to be seen doing anything but drinking coffee together out in public (answer: come on, you don't need my help on that one).

Anyway - again, in no particular order (except for #1), my favorite places to celeb-stalk.

#10 - TMZ
This was obvious. They broke news of Michael Jackson's death before any major news media empires got wind of it - they're credible enough that the likes of CNN and MSNBC will actually use them as entertainment sources for hot celebrity stories. In my mind, they're sort of the Twitter of gossip sites - quick little one-bite snippets of exactly what's happening with whom, precisely when it first happens.TMZ gets a gold star for providing first-hand, original gossip, too, versus pieces culled from OK! and Life and Style and People and what not. They've got people in the trenches, so they get the dirt first.

#9 - Dlisted
Requires a strong stomach. Or, at the very least, a constitution not easily offended by profanity. Cuz this kid (Michael K) has quite a mouth. But also quite a wit, and there's something about the random pictures of has-beens he gathers for the daily birthday roundup that always makes me giggle. Further - he latches on to the obscure (Phoebe Price! Phoebe Price!) until they're a sarcastic household name. Good site for giggles.

#8 - Go Fug Yourself
Fashion porn! Fashion porn! Genius, snicker-out-loud-in-the-cubicle writing. Pop culture references that us "10-years-old-in-1990" kids can appreciate. Sweet Valley High, anyone? And pictures - LOTS and LOTS of hi-res pictures that allow makeup-philes like myself to inspect the eyeliner and shadow choices of each and every red carpet outing. There's something self-satisfying about being able to discover Blake Lively had a zit at a premier, or that Halle Berry has weak eyelashes. Meh, I get a kick out of things like that. Also keep an eye out for: hilarious poll questions. Seriously, it's "ell-oh-ell" material.

#7 - E! Online
I usually prefer slightly more off-the-beaten path outlets less-likely to be in any given star's back pocket. And E! is usually a little too....kind to its subjects. HOWEVER: they've got Fashion Police, and that's pretty hard to pass up. Not to mention plenty of more "authorized" content (as opposed to "leaked from US Weekly" friend-of-a-friend hearsay). They've also got the ever-smug Ted Casablanca's "The Awful Truth" filled with fun blind items (like celebrity "Guess Who!") and plenty of "oh honey, PUH-LEAZE" snark.

#6 - Tom and Lorenzo
What began as the "Project Rungay" blog morphed into something much more comprehensive and it's a true guilty pleasure. If it's fashion-related, it makes the cut - if it's celebrity fashion-related, it's even better. Their site layout is particularly user-friendly: with various stories set up on an easy-to-preview grid, you can pick and choose which items you read without having to scroll through pages and pages of text to get to what you want. These boys know fashion, they know famous people, and they make it possible for me to stay reasonably well-informed during the Project Runway seasons without actually watching the shows (those contestants are too irritating for me to stomach).

#5 - Popeater
This site has several things going for it: fairly slick layout, fairly good sources, a fairly diverse cadre of contributing op-ed writers and a fairly logical organization that allows you to choose between celebrity news, movie news, television news, music news, famous couples, etc. So if you're primarily interested in which movie snagged the top spot this weekend and could care less about Jennifer Garner out and about with her kids, you could hop over to Movie News and avoid the rest. My only complaint: Rob Shuter. I whine about him frequently - he has this Naughty but Nice blog bit that's so arbitrary and trite it's hard to read. He claims to have inside sources, but I have to wonder if he doesn't play the part of "contributing friend-in-the-know" himself more often than not.

#4 - Radar Online
It's fascinating how many celeb sites incorporate the color pink into their logo.....oh well. Pink evokes bubble-gum, which is pretty much the caliber of what they're dedicated to covering anyway. It works. Radar seems to be the go-to-mouthpiece for most things Lohan - so they tend to be slightly more forgiving of Lindsay's crack-antics than most celebrity sites. However, they also have some mighty diligent photographers on their bankroll, because as far as pictures of the famous out-and-about, Radar has it nailed. Small aside here - an old blog-buddy from my earlier, more "New York-centric" blogging days did some freelancing for Radar and featured me once in a culture piece about Church Camp Kids all grown up. I can't find the article on there anymore, but I got turned onto Radar when I got to be cited as a source. Yippee.

#3 - Just Jared
Pictures, pictures, pictures. They've got some good gossip, too, but I tend to think of JJ in terms of galleries of celebrities pumping gas or eating frozen yogurt or grocery shopping. The normal-people stuff. Meh, maybe we don't all care to see what Hilary Duff wears to hit up Whole Foods, but I get a kick out of "celebs on the street." Because it reminds me we ALL have days where we don't wash our hair or take off yesterday's makeup and we head out in the ratty leggings and ugly sweatshirts and Uggs.

#2 - Huffington Post Entertainment
I enjoy Huffpo in general for news and editorials - their layout is insufferably bad, but the content is good, and high-profile folks (from politics to business to music and film) will stop by and write guest bits from time to time. Their entertainment news is solid, they post decent movie and film reviews, they have a huge army of contributors pretty balanced perspective. All-in-all, if you can stand the layout, the info is good.

#1 - Celebitchy
Yep, escapism CAN be smart. And it is possible to feel like you have small community of like-minded friends who spend their work days work-dodging in the comments section of sites like this one. Maybe that's a sick, unhealthy admission to make, but I spend enough time keeping up with minutiae on this site that the writers and commenters start to feel like familiar friends. Like Tom and Lorenzo, this site has a great design - another grid of updates to choose from, so I can skip the LeAnn Rimes/Eddie Cibrian garbage and head straight to the Natalie Portman stuff. Then there's "Hot Guy Friday," an institution in itself. It's not really Friday until we can all cruise through dozens and dozens of pictures of (somewhat, sometimes) good-lookin gentleman. Er, I'm biased these days. Nothing looks as handsome as the real-life boyfriend. Not even Jason Statham. But for celebrity gossip, this site wins, hands-down. Ugh, I shudder to think what my browsing history looks like these days.....oh well. I'm becoming a resident authority on all things completely, uselessly inane. Or slowly driving myself crazy, verdict out.

There ya go. Next up: my ten favorite books read in 2010.

UPDATE: It occured to me it might be worthwhile to toss in some "honorable mentions" (that is, those sites I tool around on from time to time that didn't quite crack the top 10)


The Superficial
Pajiba
In Case You Didn't Know
Lainey Gossip
Hollywood Tuna
Twitter (cuz, you know, sometimes the celebs themselves keep me updated)
I don't like you in that way
Popcrunch
Perez Hilton

MegaMonthofCountdowns #2 - Worst Red Carpet Looks

This should be fun.

I spend an inordinate amount of time trolling gossip websites keeping up with the stupid antics of overpaid, famous people. It's fun. It makes me feel balanced and wise and cultured and practical by comparison. I also get an inordinate amount of glee from seeing overpaid, famous people and their fantastically fit bodies fumble horribly on the red carpet. With all of that money and all of those fabulously thin arms, how can you go wrong?????

Holy goodness, there are some epic fails. Epic.

HOWEVER, since there are too many pictures of Rihanna cavorting in items not intended for use as clothing, and too many pictures of Juliette Lewis wearing things made of PVC and too many pictures of the Kardashians sporting shrink wrap masquerading as Herve Leger, I thought I'd tackle my ten least favorite red carpet looks from Stars Who Should Know Better. Meaning, "you don't usually look that awful - what happened to your better judgment?" Also meaning, "Heavens. If I were built like you, I wouldn't inflict THAT dress upon my glorious figure."

Here we go (also in no particular order. Except for maybe #1).

#10 - Jennifer Connelly
This whole "napkin as coat" routine is my first beef. And since it neither keeps her warm nor adds anything to the outfit, I have to wonder if it wasn't a last-minute, out-the-door attempt to cover up the Flinstones on Acid print of what's cowering underneath. And I'm never a fan of severe, slicked-back-ponytails, but find them particularly loathsome when there's nothing else PRETTY about the outfit. It's the Hilary Swank syndrome - the "let's take my hair out of the equation and let the bald-faced hideousness of my outfit do the talking." This is particularly tragic because I think there are few women more beautiful than Ms Connelly and to see a perfect face and dazzling legs eaten alive by Mortal Kombat Meets Tablecloth getup pains me. What would I change? Everything but the shoes.

#9 - Halle Berry
I'll recognize the irony in the fact that what drives me the most nuts about this brocade suit monstrosity is the SHOES. I mean, we're covered in head-to-toe with budget "formal living room" upholstery that evokes King Tut and what bothers me more than anything is the dated heaviness of pointy-toed pumps? I look at this (with its tasseled blouse and over-sized shoulder pads) and think, "ooh, wish she'd done strappy sandal?!" Odd reaction, I'll admit. But Halle - you're hiding everything that's wonderful about yourself underneath metallic gold "that's not meant to be folded or bent" vulcanized rubber clothes. Here's what I'd change: I'd nix the matching jacket (I don't like matching....even bikini tops and bottoms - mix it up). I'd swap the cleavage-tastic blouse "thing" for a black, ballet-neck sweater and I'd add barely-there strappy heels. Done. Less smothering. Maybe a single-strand, belly-button skimming necklace or some dainty chandelier earrings.

#8 - Malin Akerman
There was a disturbingly Early Days of Star Trek trend this summer that involved exaggerated shoulders and cinched, cropped waistlines. Malin is a lovely girl with INSANE legs and, unfortunately, a propensity to completely obliterate everything lovely about her svelte physique underneath ill-advised stretch pants and ugly tops. This is no exception. She should know better. Less is more. Body-skimming = good. Ouch-how-did-she-squeeze-into-those-and-what-happens-if-she-needs-to-pee = less good. Slim-leg pants and dainty heels = good. Shoes that evoke cloven hooves = bad. Neutral tops in interesting textures = good. Bi-layer mullet blouses with Romulan sleeves = not good. And the eye makeup....just....NO. I'd change everything about the top - slice off those awkward sleeves, extend the hem to mid-thigh and toss a smart, well-tailored blazer over the top. THAT would work. In that case, I'd even let the cloven hooves remain.

#7 - Julianne Moore
This notorious "two-faced" dress was one of the most-maligned red carpet looks of the year. Making matters worse: frumpy shoes and HORRIBLY fried-looking hair. She's a gorgeous woman with skin like a goddess. She's gracefully glamourous. Stunning. But please, Ms Moore - not even a pedicure before the red carpet? THAT's what I'd change. If you're gonna go with smashed bed hair and a horrible Create-Your-Own-Adventure dress, at least PAINT YER TOES.

#6 - Nicole Kidman
I'm on the fence about last summer's menswear trend. Rachel Bilson attempted a tuxedo-inspired, harem-pant jumpsuit that she actually pulled off with reasonable aplomb. Yes, aplomb. Tina Fey attempted something similar and looked like she'd been kidnapped by fashion. The clothes wore her. And here's Mrs Keith Urban wearing something that vaguely evokes Gweneth Paltrow and manages to make this tall, pin-thin, modelesque mama look, um, eaten alive. Like, she's trapped inside a piano. And the piano has succeeded in gobbling up most of her hands and is moving on to her neck. And the shoes are going to join in the feast if they have anything to say about it. The only things not being eaten are those miles of legs, and, in this case, I sort of wish they were. Being eaten, that is. By more fabric. Because miles of very fair-skinned legs reminds me of awkwardly coltish thirteen year-olds trying to be sexy in the dead of winter. Basically. I'd add four inches to the hem, roll up the sleeves, tidy up her hair and put her in basic almond-toe pumps. With perhaps a kicky penny-loafer-ish tassel detail as a menswear wink/nod that looks less oppressive.

#5 - Keira Knightly
Oh my. The top half suggests an In n Out Burger uniform. The bottom screams "Kindergarten teacher circa 1991." The fact that the pattern (embroidery?) seems to be a combination of Mud Flap Naked Lady on top and Bouquet of Christmas Tree down below has me confused. The "Are we flip-flops or are we platform pumps" shoe is confusing. The greasy hair does her no favors. The Sleeves. Oh dear Lord, The Sleeves. And all of this with a rather staid (though I imagine Chanel) bag dangling in a rather depressed, lackluster, after-thought-like way makes me feel sad. And anemic. I'm just confused. What part of the "I have an awards show to attend, what would look smashing?" question is answered with "Truck Stop Diner Twinset?" What part? I'd change everything. Shoes first. Everything else should have been burned.

#4 - Jessica Biel
We all know Jessica Biel can't dress herself. And whomever she consults for professional opinions on this sort of thing is desperately ill-qualified. And I don't demand red carpet perfection, just red carpet PRACTICALITY. This has neither. It does, however, have both that "napkin as outerwear" sort of vibe and "I couldn't decide which to wear so I wore both" vibe that irked me in both Jennifer Connelly and Julianne Moore's respective mishaps. It also has the "what's going on with those sleeves?" problem that both Malin and Keira tried to pull off. But it's not brocade and it's not a tuxedo and it looks sort of ....comfortable, so I guess that's okay. And her shoes are great, so she gets points there. But -- bottom line -- this is just UGLY. And a girl with an amazing body shouldn't be tented in a winter white bedsheet with limp hair and a single Alexander the Great sleeve looking like it could fill with enough air to lift her right off the ground.

#3 - Michelle Williams
I feel a sort of kinship toward this girl. Mostly having to do with the fact that we're both fair-skinned girls who don't quite look our age, have sweet little adolescent faces and are well-suited to twee little pixie cuts. And she looks like my sister. HOWEVER - neither Michelle nor my sister nor myself are twelve years old (regardless of what the random lady in that Target store may have insinuated about me last Christmas season while hoping to gain gift tips for her thirteen year-old granddaughter). Therefore, glitter and ruffles and bows don't suit us. Neither does this particular shade of hair. BUT, if you're finally at your much-anticipated movie's American premier, and said film is in the middle of a heated appeal before the MPAA ratings board AND you're set to appear along inexplicable heartthrob Ryan Gosling (*cough - Breaker High - cough*), don't you want to look every inch the tantalizing, pocket-sized vixen you know you've got it in your arsenal to be????????? Don't you???????? Apparently not. Okay, then - we could make this more manageable by removing the giant BOW at our waist. Please. At least that.

#2 - Carey Mulligan
This is actually NOT Michelle Williams from above, as much as the hair and age-inappropriate dress might suggest. This is actually normally a very pretty, very stylish girl with a free-spirited sense of fashion (though an unfortunate propensity for awkward mid-calf length skirts) and a very promising career. What with that sexy low voice and cute accent and what not. She's adorable. And she's doing her best to convince us otherwise in this My Little Pony-colored dress with those horrific black tights and shoes. All other things considered, the most grievous offense here is the color. So, if this were red, or cream, or navy or even bright, lime, neon green, I wouldn't be so off-put. This is a cheap color. An ugly color. A color that's waging a fierce competition against her brown eyes and fawn-colored eye makeup. Change: the color. It's hideous, either way, but the color.....makes my teeth hurt.

#1 - Blake Lively
And again with the menswear. And the Dynasty Shoulders. And the "is-that-or-isn't-that-a-slice-of-nipple?" neckline. And the slicked back hair. And the harem pants. I saw a diagram once that was a "definitive guide to harem pants." Sort of a flow chart. Question number one: Are you, right at this moment, in a harem?" If you answered no, you immediately proceeded to the "then you should NOT be wearing harem pants." Clever, cute little diagram. I suspect Blake "The Legs" Lively is not in a harem. I suspect she's surrounded by a bunch of comic book geeks who are definitely hoping that IS a slice of nipple. Sigh. If I was in possession of the magnificent rack, magnificent pair of legs and magnificent head of hair that Blake here possesses, I cannot foresee wanting to do everything within my power to obscure all of the above. Because even the rack looks squashed and bad here. What would I change? Oh dear. Um.....let's say I was tossed into a closet with Blake right before she was set to wander out onto the ComicCon floor and told "Fix it! In five minutes or less!" In that case, I think I would yank out the ponytail, ditch the belt, desperately hope there was some shirt to UN-tuck hidden under the waist of those harem pants, pray that the belt isn't the only thing holding them up, and then tear off the football jersey sleeves attached to her shoulders. In that case, you've got boob-tastic white halter (which is unabashedly tacky, but hey, we've only got 5 minutes here), some shiny pants, and a lot of tousled blonde hair. Come on, Blake - as the new face of Chanel (and love child of Lagerfeld and Anna Wintour), YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER. This is not high fashion. This just gives me the giggles.

Ta-da!

Next countdown will be a surprise............for now, enjoy.

MegaMonthofCountdowns #1 - Favorite Bubbles

Staying true to the blog's namesake, it seemed fitting to start the year-end lists off with the 10 best bottles of bubbly I've enjoyed in 2010. They range from grocery store budget to "overpriced in a nice steakhouse" on the price list. These aren't in order of preference, just ten that I remember particularly enjoying.

So, let's pop the cork, shall we?

#10 - Zardetto Prosecco
This has been my go-to bubbly this year. It's affordable. It's cheap in the grocery stores AND the "budget pick" for by-the-glass bubbly at The Metropolitan Grill - so you know it's good. It's light, off-dry, and nearly colorless. Crisp, blessedly free of any sour acidity, and great with pretty much ALL food. Goofy label aside, it's a great pick in the $10-15 range.

#9 - Schramsberg Brut Rose
I had a "scales falling from my eyes" moment when I first sipped this. Historically, I'd avoided anything under the Schramsberg label because they tended to be SO CHARDONNAY HEAVY - I couldn't handle my bubbles oaked. And then, while in Sonoma, sitting with my mom in our favorite, quaint little hotel lounge (watching retirees slow dance to the fine vocal stylings of an equally old local crooner in hawaiian print) I took a gamble and tried a (generously poured) glass of Schramsberg's rose. It was an eye opener. DELICIOUS. Gone were the buttery chardonnay notes, the lemony bite, the coat-your-throat oak - this wine is primarily local Carneros pinot noir - smooth and whisper-sweet with delicate, soft, super-fine bubbles: EXCELLENT. And while I'll still steer clear of their classic Brut, this rose was one of the best I've tasted.

#8 - Sofia Coppola Blanc de Blancs
It's the "wine-in-a-can." The Four Loko of sparkling wine. The socialite's Red Bull accoutrement. Yes, the bottles come wrapped in pink celophane. It's obscene. But it's also one of the most unusual, distinct sparkling wines I've tasted all year. VERY distinct notes of ginger. Yep, ginger. It's unusual, but surprisingly tasty. A sip pans out with hints of apricot, peach and vanilla. The bubbles aren't as delicate as I like, and as it warms toward room temperature it takes on a decidedly more bitter flavor, but -- for being a wine you can buy in a can and sip with a straw (yes. straw.) it's actually uniquely flavorful. Yummy, even. Memorable.

#7 - La Marca Prosecco
So, I'm a prosecco fan. It's affordable, RELIABLE (I've NEVER had a bad glass of prosecco) and -- in this case -- comes in a lovely bottle. I bought it, initially, simply because I liked the bottle. The ice blue label and silver foil looked stately (yes, I judge wines by their "cover." If it's sitting on my dinner table or taking up space in a wine rack, may as well look pretty while it's there). I was thrilled to discover this wine has been picked up by major grocery chains in the last year or so (after a holiday debut at World Market several Christmases ago) and is right at that perfect "not cheap, not guilty" price point that moves a lot of cases. Between $15-20, it's a sparkling treat without breaking the bank. Like most prosecco, it's clean, bright, a lovely pale wheat shade and finishes very well - light on the palate, pairs well with food (which may well be Prosecco's crowning glory).

#6 - Domaine Carneros Vermeil Demi-Sec

This one was set up to be a favorite if only because I tasted my first sip on the Domaine Carneros patio on a warm, sunny Monday afternoon in October. I was miles from home, miles from work, and surrounded with bottles of sparkling wine, caviar, and cheese. We ordered up a bottle of DC's Rose out of habit, and sampled a few glasses of their limited release Demi-Sec toward the end of our afternoon. It's perfect. It's sweet. It's mellow, it's a beautifully warm, blush color and has just enough body to hold up against caviar. I keep reminding myself to add a bottle of this to my monthly wine club order - it's good enough to pay for shipping, which is saying a lot for me.

#5 - Gloria Ferrer Va de Vi
This one probably makes the list as much by virtue of having been sipped on another patio while watching the sun set over the Napa valley as much as the deliciousness of the bubbly itself. HOWEVER - it is delicious. Hint of muscat means it's SLIGHTLY sweet. Not cloyingly sweet or syrupy, just fragrant and satisfying and subtle. It seems only to appear in some grocery stores around the holidays, but it clocks in at less than $20 and manages to feel like a vacation in a bottle.

#4 - Vueve Cliquot Rose
So, the local store OVER-ordered this Rose around New Year - apparently they forgot the economic climate means people reach for Korbel come holiday party time before they grab for the pink Vueve. Lucky for me - they were clearing it out at half the normal $70 price tag. That's right - $34 for Vueve Rose. So clearly, this made the list of favorites by sheer CHEAP! virtue. My sister and I stocked up. And it was -- of course -- perfect. I've heard some people "who know" refer to this as a "heavier" rose, and its comparably-priced contemporaries (Perrier Jouet or Krug, for instance) as lighter, less filling options, but I've always found this one rather flawless. No acidic bite. Just perfect. Especially at half off.

#3 - Iron Horse Brut
In a taste test between California's Iron Horse and France's Piper-Heidsiek, California won - like the Schramsberg Rose, this one surprised me with its unexpected mildness. I hadn't paid much attention to Iron Horse when I'd visited California wine country in the past (and, truthfully, another visit came and went this year and I didn't make it to their tasting room -- yet again), but after tasting it for the first time alongside some sashimi, this was an unassuming and yummy choice - one of the better bubblies I tasted this year.

#2 - Domaine Carneros Le Reve Blanc de Blancs
I, theoretically, prefer the pinot of a blanc de noirs to the chardonnay/pinot blanc blend of it's paler companion, but Le Reve is, quite simply, one of the BEST bottles of bubbly I've ever tasted. Ever. It's the only wine I deign to pay wine club shipping fees to have delivered to the office every month (fine - that and the fact that you can't buy it in stores up here). Definite vanilla flavors. The 2004 and 2005 are both uniquely tasty in their own right, I'm aching to try their Le Reve Rose....maybe a Christmas present for myself?

#1 - Moet & Chandon Rose
I like pink, I guess. And, actually, while I said these were in "no particular order," this was definitely my favorite of the year. Definitely. By a long shot. Ordered a bottle of it "accidentally" during happy hour at The Met, didn't have the heart to send it back since -- really -- though it's twice the price of it's Brut counterpart, I was definitely down to taste it. It was (much like Vueve Rose, I suppose), pretty perfect. Never mind that I was celebrating a major life milestone at that happy hour anyway (so treating myself to something marked up by 200% didn't seem like such a huge crime), it would have been great at any price. Everything a rose should be: flavorful - like sunshine in a bottle. Absolutely perfect.

Ta-Da!

2010 List #1. Later this week (fine, I'm probably lying - later next week) I'll tackle my least favorite red carpet looks of the year. Yippee! Blake Lively, I'm looking at you.

Countdown time - first up: favorite bubbles of the year

So, with the advent of...advent season come the lists. NPR released their 50 favorite albums of the year. E! is polling to elect their 2010 Celeb of the Year and badgering us to vote in the "Year's Hottest Couple." The local news anchors I follow on Twitter (yes. sigh. true.) are trolling for lists of our most-hated Christmas songs of all time ("Christmas in the Northwest," anyone? Beyonce's "12 Days of Christmas?" Too many to choose from....). So, it's time for my lists.

Will be pretty hard to trump last year's "10 years of bad films I especially loved" opus, so this year, we'll think small. A handful of smaller lists scattered throughout the next month or so. Top Tens. As in, Top Ten Bubbles of 2010. 10 Least Favorite Celebrities of 2010. Ten best red carpet looks of the year. My 10 most embarrassing moments of 2010. 10 favorite gossip websites. Ten pairs of shoes I wish I owned. 10 great books I read this year. Things like that.

Also: why the wimpy dude pic? No reason. I just found it awkward and silly and wondered how many twenty three year-old girls with conflicted iPods full of Taylor Swift and Kanye tunes swooned at this unadulterated display of girlie-man love.

Another also: before I start with my MegaMonthofCountdowns (MEGA. heh. I think the only place that word is used anymore is in car dealership commercials, ergo: I dig it), Popeater had an interesting article comparing Taylor Momsen to Christina Aguilera - surprisingly insightful. Frankly, I usually avoid Popeater, mostly because of writer Rob Shuter and his insanely lame articles like THIS (hint: it purports that the primary difference between Kate Middleton and Princess Di had to do with the public's perception of their virginity. Please.), but this was an editorial by Rebecca Macatee that has some significant merit.

Essentially, she argues that the totally sexualized, stripper-image Momsen's cultivating is probably a decent outlet for some teenage angst, a put-on performance that lets her vent a little age-appropriate frustration and experiment a little, and that she's probably pretty balanced and normal off-stage, all things considered (afterall, we see her wearing precious little when she takes to the stage, but aside from that, she's blessedly out of the spotlight for her off-camera antics). Xtina did the same thing back in the "Dirrrrrty" days of "Stripped" and it was primarily an on-stage act, whereas Britney was trying to maintain a squeaky-clean public image while completely melting down off-stage. Here's a good one-bite synopsis:

"So maybe Taylor Momsen's out of control antics are getting that rebellion out of her system, and in real life, she's still more Cindy Lou Who than Courtney Love. After all, appearances can be deceiving, especially in Hollywood. It's Disney princess Demi Lovato, who wore a purity ring and once dated Joe Jonas, that's now seeking emotional treatment after her near-breakdown. And Taylor Momsen, the angst-filled, dark and disturbed princess of bleach and mascara, still seems to be working, healthy, and staying out of any actual trouble. She's obviously a talented young woman with great potential. I just hope she takes the Christina route with her career and doesn't ever actually become the bona fide bad girl she wants us to believe she already is."

I thought it was interesting, anyway.

So - stay tuned, I'll toss up the first of my countdowns later this week....