WHY AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO DOESN'T THINK THIS MICHAEL FASSBENDER GUY IS THE ULTIMATE SEXY? Lemme clarify -- not only am I not quivering in my little girl boots over this guy, I think he's about the most bland, vanilla, un-sexy, overrated, concave-chested, pasty-skinned dullard this side of Alex Skarsgard.
To further confound me -- this Fassbender guy is in every single movie released in 2011. I'm serious. Every. Single. Movie. IMDB the guy. It's ridiculous. It's like one morning Hollywood woke up, grabbed "that guy, uh, that one who was in that Basterds movie with Brad Pitt -- uh, that one guy with the name -- the odd name..." and decided to cast him in every single movie for the rest of the year.
Fassbender.
I can't escape the man.
Likewise: can't escape the legions of women who seem to want to do every unseemly thing under the sun to this guy. With this guy. While thinking about this guy. Whatever.
Then I hear that he's got some film called "Shame" coming out where he plays s a sex addict. Huh. And they're probably going to have problems finding a company to distribute the film in the states because it will inevitably end up with an NC-17 rating (due to some full frontal Fassbender) and, gee, now the celebgossipsphere is alight with women who can't seem to slurp the drool back into their mouths at the idea of checking out his cheeks. Andwhatnot.
I realize I'm not making much of a case for myself by posting tons of pictures of him -- but it was a study in the blase, trying to find a picture of him where -- even with my head tilted and my eyes blurred -- I could manage even a mildly interested shrug of "huh. Ehhhh he's OK, I guess." I came up short. Ladies (and studio executives and casting directors and wild donkeys and helium balloons and poltergeist) are going ape over this????
I just don't get it.
And I couldn't tell you if the guy can act, because I haven't seen any of his movies. OR, I saw that "Inglorious" movie a few years back, but wouldn't remember this guy from Adam (all of those uniformed men looked the same to me......). Which means he's bland AND forgettable.
I know, I know, not all men can be as dashing and handsome as my Mr Wonderful. He's one-of-a-kind. But I'd at least expect the planet earth to chose someone REASONABLY interesting, with a REASONABLE amount of character in his face and a REASONABLE dose of photogenic....oh......SWAGGER to inflict upon the greater movie-going/gossip-cruising/air-breathing public.
I know, I'm in the minority when it comes to a lot of the standard issue hot tickets. Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Robert Pattinson, Justin Timberlake, Daniel Craig.....uh, I'm suddenly drawing a blank on most "standard issue hot tickets."
But this one: I just don't get it.
Clue me in.............convince me.
